The Marauder Miss Talon - Part 1
by Abby Well
Summary: Lily had a maid-of-honour. Harry has a godmother. Remus has a friend. And Sirius? Sirius has a wife. Set from the Marauders' final year at Hogwarts onwards. SiriusxOC. Rated M.
1. The Boys on the Train

**Disclaimer: The wonderful wizarding world of Harry Potter does not belong to me.**

* * *

Holly Hartwell was feeling very nervous.

The weather wasn't helping. Thick sheets of driving rain were all she could see out of the tiny Leaky Cauldron windows, shielding both Diagon Alley on one side and the Muggle world on the other.

(It hadn't taken her long to find out that in Britain, non-magical people were called Muggles, not _smaghi_ as she was used to.)

Taking several deep breaths to calm herself, she continued to get dressed. Her Hogwarts robes were spread across the bed, but her sister Camellia had insisted she dress in a smart skirt-suit to look 'presentable'. It wasn't to look presentable; it was so the other students immediately saw she was well-off, and Holly hated it. The suit was stiff with newness, and she could have sworn there was a Posture-Correction Charm in there somewhere - it definitely wouldn't be beyond her sister's capabilities.

Sighing, she gathered up her curly hair and twisted it into a loose bun at the back of her head, determined to have at least some measure of comforting dishevelment until she could change into her robes on the train and never, ever, wear the suit again. Granted, it was a lovely deep green colour, which looked good against her Mediterranean skin, but that was probably the only thing she liked about it.

" _Che pensi, Cosmo_?" she quietly asked the grey owl that perched in a cage in the corner of the room. The bird ruffled his feathers and hooted softly at the sound of his name, keeping his eyes closed.

The door opened without a knock, and Camellia strode into the room. She gave Holly a quick up-and-down glance and her mouth immediately set into a hard line, which somehow became even thinner she realised Holly still hadn't packed everything. "What is taking you so long?" she asked in a frazzled tone.

"I've been trying to do these _maledetti_ buttons," Holly grumbled, fiddling with the front of her jacket.

"More like you were just waiting for me to do it for you," Camellia replied. She started waving her wand and sorting various books, posters and clothes into the trunks. "And don't swear."

Holly rolled her eyes. "It's not a swearword…" She continued wrestling with the buttons, muttering under her breath in furious Italian. Finally, fully ensconced in the dreaded suit, she slid her feet into the awaiting pair of black pumps and surveyed her reflection. It didn't look like her at all.

When she turned around, Camellia was looking at her with a slight smile. Aside from their hair colours, Holly's being light blonde and her sister's dark brown, the two of them looked almost identical (and, in Holly's opinion, completely ridiculous. It was alright for Camellia to look smart, given that she was the older one and about to start a new job at the Ministry of Magic, but Holly was seventeen. British teenagers didn't dress like this).

The trunk being packed, Camellia glanced at the old clock on the wall, which read half past nine. Plenty of time, of course - she never allowed herself to be late. With a wave of her wand, the trunk and Cosmo's cage floated gently into the air and moved smoothly out of the door and down the stairs, followed by Camellia. Holly grabbed her wand off the top of the chest-of-drawers, stowed it up her sleeve and followed suit. Despite her discomfort, she was excited to see more of the Muggle world on her way to catch the Hogwarts Express.

* * *

King's Cross Station was packed. Holly couldn't help smiling as the scene washed over her; newspaper sellers shouting at the passing crowds; commuters rushing to and fro; the smell of too many wet coats mixed with cigarette smoke and a thousand different perfumes; the barely-audible tannoy announcements; the rumble of trains undercutting it all. Carefully pushing her luggage trolley through the throngs of people, she kept pausing to look at everything around her, and eventually Camellia had to grab her by the elbow and lead her along. Throughout it all, Cosmo, the laziest of owls, remained blissfully asleep.

" _Smaghi_ ," Camellia said derisively as they navigated their way across the station - it wasn't far, but given the time of day it was slow going. She visibly shuddered when a man in an ill-fitting suit pushed past her, leaving the reek of stale cigarettes and a distinct lack of deodorant in his wake. She wrinkled her nose; the journey from the Leaky Cauldron had already set her teeth on edge, and none of this was helping her mood.

Holly leaned forward. "They're called Muggles, here, Cammy," she said softly.

"It doesn't matter what we call them," Camellia hissed back. "They're all the same. Empty-headed."

"I think they're brilliant," Holly said simply. She followed her sister through the ticket barrier, smiling briefly at the bored-looking Muggle standing on duty. "Muggles have been to the moon, you know."

Camellia chose to ignore that, focusing instead on the solid column of brick between platforms 9 and 10. Holly saw her hesitate for a fraction of a second before she walked forward briskly and passed through the column like it wasn't there.

Holly grinned before looking around quickly, making sure no Muggles were watching her. She spotted instead two tall boys with black hair and identical confident smirks, chattering loudly as they walked. Behind them were a man and woman, obviously devoted parents of the boys, smiling at them indulgently as they held their own quieter conversation. Holly felt a sharp pang of sadness as she watched the happy family unit, and her hands unconsciously gripped the handle of the trolley much harder. Setting her shoulders, she abruptly turned away to walk through the wall after her sister.

Emerging on the other side was like breaking the surface after swimming underwater - a second or two of absolute silence as she passed through, and then Holly was suddenly assaulted with the voices of a hundred young wizards and witches, their various families, pets, and the beautiful scarlet Hogwarts Express. She couldn't help but stare.

"Holly!" Her sister's sharp no-nonsense voice cut through the cacophony, followed by an imperious wave from where she stood next to one of the train's doors. When Holly approached, she immediately grabbed Cosmo's cage and one of the smaller suitcases, thrusting them into her younger sister's arms. "This train leaves at exactly eleven o'clock. You need to be on board. Take Cosmo, I'll get someone to carry your trunk." She turned and disappeared into the crowd.

It was actually quite nice to be rid of Camellia for a little while. Holly stepped onto the train with Cosmo's cage cradled in her arms, the owl finally awake and hooting softly to himself as he took in his surroundings. Most of the compartments were starting to fill up, but she managed to find an empty one somewhere near the middle of the carriage and sat down gratefully by the window, tucking the suitcase containing her robes under the seat. She put Cosmo's cage down next to her and poked her finger through the bars, scratching his head gently. He closed his eyes and nuzzled against her hand, making her smile.

"Nice owl."

Holly looked up, surprised, and spotted a very tall boy with pale brown hair looking down at her from the doorway. He had several long, old scars across his face, but his eyes were kind and he immediately stuck out his hand for Holly to shake. She leaned forward and did so gratefully - his skin was warm, and the handshake was welcome after being manhandled around the station by Camellia. "I'm Holly," she said, "Holly Hartwell." Her accent came out thicker than usual, as it always did when she was a bit nervous.

"Remus Lupin." The boy smiled. "You're not English?"

"Half - I grew up in Milan. I'm transferring to Hogwarts, just for this year."

"Are you on your own?" The boy frowned concernedly. He stepped into the compartment and perched on the edge of the seat opposite Holly, folding up his long legs and resting his elbows on his knees.

"My sister's with me. Somewhere." As if on cue, there was a sharp _tap-tap-tap_ on glass. Camellia was standing outside the carriage, gesturing at Holly to wind down the window. After raising an eyebrow at Remus, she proceeded to ignore him completely and addressed her sister in Italian, speaking like a business associate rather than a sibling.

"I trust you're all settled in, Holly. Your trunk and other cases are on board; I gave them to one of the porters. I expect regular owls from you, and I'll write back as often as my schedule allows. I'd like to visit occasionally too, but I'll give you plenty of notice. Study hard, don't cause trouble, and make sure you do all your homework." Given the angle, the brief hug Holly gave her after standing up and leaning outside the carriage was very awkward, and then all of a sudden it was over and Camellia was stepping back. "Have a good term. See you at Christmas." She turned and walked away into the dwindling crowd.

Silence filled the compartment for a very long thirty seconds before Remus cleared his throat. "She's very...proper."

Holly laughed half-heartedly. "That's Cammy. Emotions are vulgar and must be avoided at all costs." She slumped back against the seat with a deep sigh and unbuttoned the hideous suit jacket, then let her hair down and shook it over her shoulders. Absently she started petting Cosmo again. "Sorry about that."

"Hey, don't worry about it. No harm done." He smiled at her again reassuringly.

Seconds later, raucous voices started making their way down the corridor outside, getting closer and closer until three other students burst into the compartment, including the two black-haired brothers Holly had seen earlier. The one with the glasses waved at Remus. "Moony, there you are! We thought you'd be on the platf-" His eyes fell on Holly. "Oh! Hello."

Remus chuckled. "Holly, this is James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew." He pointed to each boy as he introduced them, and Holly was surprised to find that the two taller ones weren't actually brothers at all. Peter, the shortest of the three, waved shyly at her with a pudgy hand that was clutching a large biscuit.

" _Ciao_ ," Holly said. She stood up and picked up her things - Cosmo hooted in a complaining sort of way - and smiled at them weakly before trying to get past them and leave the compartment. The conversation with Camellia had left her feeling deflated, all the previous fizzing excitement and nerves dissipating and leaving behind nothing but frustration and disappointment. She didn't feel like being surrounded by noisy teenage boys that she didn't know, even if they seemed friendly.

Behind her, Remus discretely cleared his throat and nodded to Holly with a _don't-let-her-leave-she's- upset-and-we-should-probably-help_ expression.

The boy named James immediately put his hand on Holly's shoulder. Turning, she saw the concern in his bright hazel eyes, and the shiny badge with HB that was pinned to his chest. He in turn quickly registered her visible discomfort, stiff clothes, and the kind of red-rimmed eyes you get from trying very hard not to cry in front of strangers. "You can stay with us, if you want," he said. "We can be a bit loud, and Peter likes to feed people, but we're alright really." Without asking, her took her suitcase from her and stowed it above their heads. She didn't really have a choice but to follow him back into the compartment after that, given that she was too small to reach it. Reluctantly, she sat down next to Peter, who immediately offered her his biscuit and started showing her some of his collection of Chocolate Frog cards, none of which she'd actually seen before. James started telling them all about something he and Sirius had done during the holidays, while Remus listened with a bemused expression, and Holly found that she was already starting to feel a little bit better.


	2. Sorting

**Disclaimer: The wonderful wizarding world of Harry Potter does not belong to me.**

* * *

The journey passed in a whirl.

By the time they arrived at Hogsmeade station, the sky outside was just starting the transformation from light grey to inky black. Holly hadn't had the chance to change into her robes, but she found that when you were sitting with four students that had taken it upon themselves to keep you amused, it wasn't so bad to be wearing something you didn't want to wear.

She'd gotten to know these strange, exuberant boys, with their long limbs, messy hair, a million stories and plans to take the world by storm, and it had made her feel infinitely better. All five of them had pooled their resources when the kind witch with the snack trolley had come around, and so it was that Holly stepped off onto the platform with a full stomach, a face that hurt from smiling and a renewed sense of excitement for completing her final year of magical education.

Immediately she spotted an enormous bushy-haired man, well over ten feet tall, standing at the end of the platform holding an equally enormous lantern. His voice carried over the crowd. "Firs' years, follow me! Firs' years, this way!" She hesitated - technically, she _was_ a Hogwarts first-year, but the other students heading over that way were all much younger than her.

Sirius Black bumped into her from behind as she stopped dead on the platform. Smoothly, he slipped his arm into hers and pulled her gently forwards to approach the huge stranger. "You look terrified - it's only Hagrid, he's a big fella but he wouldn't hurt a fly."

"I'm not scared," she hissed back, but they were already standing in front of him - somehow, Sirius had cut through the swarms of students and deposited her at Hagrid's feet. He gave her a quick salute before swanning off into the crowd after the others. Holly clutched the suitcase containing her robes to her chest and stared up into a pair of beetle-black eyes surrounded by so much hair she couldn't tell where it ended and the beard began. "Um...hello."

"Miss 'Artwell?" Hagrid asked gruffly.

Holly nodded.

A hand the size of a hubcap reached out and clapped her on the back, almost knocking her over. "Good to meet yer! I've been told by Professor McGonagall to meet you out 'ere and bring you up to the castle with the firs' years. You're to ride in the boat with me." He pushed on her shoulders and started guiding her down a gravelly path to a small, brightly-lit boathouse on the edge of a lake. It was filled with about twenty little boats, each with its own lantern fixed to the prow to light the way across the dark water. None of them had oars.

"Four to a boat!" Hagrid suddenly bellowed, making Holly jump. He led her over to a larger boat she hadn't seen before and sat down inside with practiced ease, beckoning her to join him as the first-year children that had followed them scrambled into the others, rocking dangerously. Holly sat in front, having no choice as Hagrid took up an entire seat to himself. He pulled out an incongruous pink umbrella from somewhere within the folds of his huge brown coat and tapped the side of their boat three times. It gave a small shudder, as if a shiver had run down its spine, then along with all the others set off across the lake.

A cold breeze was blowing over the vast expanse of water. It was too dark to really see anything outside the circle of light cast by Hagrid's lantern, and a quick glance down at the impenetrable blackness of the lake made Holly shudder. She wrapped her arms around herself, hugging her suitcase to her chest, and wished she'd changed into her robes so she could be a bit warmer.

Eventually, they rounded a corner, and the first years ahead of them gasped and immediately started chattering excitedly. Holly simply stared; the castle was incredible, an enormous creation standing proud and timeless, as if someone had dropped a pebble there centuries ago and Hogwarts had grown out of it. A thousand twinkling windows glowed like jewels, set in a background of imposing brick walls and enormous towers; the outer battlements were lined with torches, casting a golden aura against the deep navy of the sky; countless tiny steps, lit by lamps on iron poles, had been carved into the cliff face leading up from the boathouse where they were now heading. The rustle of wind, dancing through leaves and rippling across water, accompanied them as they came to rest. The little boats came to a stop with nothing more than a slight bump as the frontmost collided with the dock, and the others behind collided with each other. Hagrid beckoned Holly to disembark first, and she clambered onto dry land rather inelegantly before standing alongside the other new students, some of whom were starting to whisper and cast her confused glances.

When they finally reached the top of the winding stairs and approached the front doors of the castle, the faint sound of a hundred different overlapping voices could be heard, and Holly realised the other students must already be inside the castle, waiting for them. She didn't know if this made her feel excited or nervous.

The doors slowly started to open of their own accord, and waiting inside the doorway was a tall, slender witch with a kind-yet-firm expression on her face. She wore robes of such deep crimson they were almost black, with a matching wide-brimmed pointed hat, and her arms were folded in an expectant manner. She nodded in acknowledgement of their presence, and beckoned them to enter the castle. The first years all scrambled ahead, pushing and shoving, to stand in a huddle in front of the authoritative witch, with Hagrid and Holly bringing up the rear. The witch cast a practised eye over them all, taking in the untucked shirts, inaccurately knotted ties, messy hair, and smears of chocolate reminiscent of snacks wolfed down on the train, then her eyes fell on Holly. "Ah," she said at last. "Thank you for bringing Miss Hartwell along with the others, Hagrid." She had a Scottish accent, and a tone of voice that implied she could be either very nice or very strict - it was entirely up to you. "You may go."

Hagrid bowed his head slightly and backed out, his footsteps echoing throughout the entrance hall. The doors swung shut behind him.

"Welcome to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry," the witch continued, her crisp tones easily carrying to the back of the room. "My name is Professor McGonagall. I am Deputy Headmistress of the school, and head of Gryffindor house. There are four houses at Hogwarts - Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin."

The slight note of derision in her voice when she spoke this last name did not go unnoticed.

"In a few moments, you will be led into the Great Hall and sorted into one of these four houses. While you are at Hogwarts, your house will be your family - you will eat together, work together, take your classes together, sleep in your allotted dormitories, and the responsibility of maintaining your house's reputation will be shared amongst you. Your successes will win you house points; any rule-breaking or misconduct will cause you to lose points." McGonagall's eagle eye swept over the young first-years, all of whom were suddenly a lot less talkative. "At the end of the year, the house with the most points will be awarded the House Cup.

"Now, I would like you all to follow me, and we will commence the Sorting ceremony. Miss Hartwell?" she asked suddenly, catching Holly's eye.

Holly immediately felt her face flush red as every single first-year turned around and stared at her. "Yes, _Professoressa_?"

"Professor Dumbledore has requested that you be taken to an antechamber off the Great Hall, and wait there to be Sorted. He felt you would prefer it if you were Sorted alone, rather than standing with the first-years, to spare you the unnecessary attention of the rest of the students in the Great Hall. When you have been Sorted, you may join the appropriate table. Mr Filch," she gestured to the side, where a grumpy-looking man in a duster jacket was staring at her, "will show you the way." She turned on the spot, and the first-years all followed her away without her needing to say a single word.

"Come on, you," Filch said gruffly. He didn't touch her, but instead snapped his fingers at her rudely to get her to follow, and she immediately disliked him as a result. She got the distinct feeling that he hated all the students, and made a mental note never to engage in conversation with him intentionally - he struck her as the type to deliberately misconstrue your words just so he could justify a punishment. She followed him apprehensively, and nearly jumped out of her skin when the ratty bit of fur around his neck, which she had originally believed to be part of the coat he wore, suddenly turned its head and fixed her with a pair of bright orange eyes.

Filch opened a door to a small room, containing a few chairs and not much else, and jerked his head in a stop-wasting-time kind of way. Holly walked in and took a seat, jumping in shock as the door slammed behind her. The fireplace on one wall burst into life, so she shuffled her chair closer to try and get warm after her cold journey across the lake. There was another door opposite the one she'd come through, on the other side of which could be heard the clear tones of Professor McGonagall, followed by a brief period of silence, then a loud male voice shouting something. It was all pretty incomprehensible.

Time ticked on, and Holly slumped down in her chair, staring into the fire and wondering which house she might end up in. She didn't know anything about any of them - McGonagall seemed okay, so maybe being a Gryffindor would be pretty good. More to the point, how was she to be Sorted? Was there some kind of test? She pulled out her wand and twirled it between her fingers. She wished she'd asked the boys on the train what was going to happen - they'd been so busy telling her about themselves, and she'd been so interested in what they had to say, that she hadn't even thought of asking them any questions about the school itself.

The door to the Great Hall opened suddenly and Professor McGonagall appeared, bearing a small wooden stool in one hand and an old, musty, pointed hat in the other. She set the stool down in the middle of the room and looked at Holly expectantly.

"The Sorting Hat will place you in the appropriate house," she stated succinctly. "Once it has done so, you may change into your robes and join your house's table."

Holly stepped away from the fire somewhat reluctantly and sat on the stool, feeling about five years old, with her legs splayed to stop her knees from being up by her ears. McGonagall placed the hat on her head, then turned away.

Nothing happened. Frowning slightly, Holly reached up and was about to take the hat off (she didn't know what was she planning to do after that. Give it a shake?) when she heard a voice in her ear. Well, not her ear exactly - it almost seemed like it was inside her head.

"Hartwell, eh? Haven't seen one of you in a long time," it said, in a deep voice with a timbre that reminded her of a cello being played. "You're a bit older than I'm used to. No matter - let's take a look at you."

Holly sat perfectly still and didn't say a word; she'd never known a hat to form an opinion against its wearer, and she was curious to see what this one would say about her.

"Bit of a rebellious streak...nasty temper too...very passionate, kind, caring…" the Hat purred, speaking to itself more than to her. "Loyal to your friends. And what a mind you've got - take after your father with that one, don't you? Hmm…" There was a pause as the Hat deliberated. Holly was just starting to get bored when it spoke again. "Ha! That settles it. RAVENCLAW!"


	3. First Day

**Disclaimer: The wonderful wizarding world of Harry Potter does not belong to me.**

* * *

The Sorting Hat spoke its final word aloud, and Professor McGonagall turned around with the smallest of smiles on her face. "Congratulations, Miss Hartwell," she said. "Please change into your robes as quickly as you can - I'll be waiting outside for you. You may leave your...travelling clothes here." She took the Hat off Holly's head and bade her stand, then picked up the stool and left the room.

Holly let out a breath she hadn't known she'd been holding. Finally, she started to scramble out of her horrid travelling clothes and into the brand-new robes that had been stowed into her suitcase hours before - had it only been that morning? The Leaky Cauldron and her sister's uncomfortable parting words felt like a distant memory. She pushed the awkward exchange from her mind as she put on her uniform, enjoying the way the thick black robe swished around her feet. After fluffing out her hair, she stowed her wand, and joined McGonagall outside. She gave Holly a quick once-over, tweaked the knot in her plain black-and-grey tie, then gave it a sharp tap with her wand - the colours melted into blue and bronze. She nodded in approval.

The antechamber didn't lead directly onto the Great Hall; there was a short corridor in between, and McGonagall led Holly down to the end then waited patiently. An old wizard with a flowing white beard, who Holly assumed to be the Headmaster, was standing at a golden dais in front of four long tables filled with students, giving a speech about unity, friendship, and forging new bonds to last the years ahead. Holly listened in fascination. When he was done, the students and teachers clapped enthusiastically - as the applause reached its peak, McGonagall led Holly into the room, deposited her at the second table along and returned to her empty seat alongside her colleagues, so by the time the room was quiet again it looked as if Holly had always been there. It was expertly done.

Holly sat in silence amid the other Ravenclaws. The majority of them were talking amongst themselves, so she took the time to look around. It was very impressive - the space over their heads was filled with thousands of floating candles, and above that the ceiling was enchanted to look like the starry sky outside. She wondered briefly what it would look like on a stormy day. As her gaze travelled round the room, it came to rest on James Potter, sat on the Gryffindor table, who waved at her and gave her a thumbs up. Sirius was sat next to him, using his cutlery to drum a fast, rhythmic beat against the table in ignorance of everything else that was going on. The look of intense concentration of his face was mesmerising, and Holly found herself staring.

"I wouldn't bother," someone said, cutting into Holly's thoughts. "James Potter's only got eyes for one girl."

Holly turned and stared at the girl sitting on her left, who was smirking at her in a knowing way. "I wasn't...bothering," she said, not wanting to admit who she'd actually been looking at. "I met him on the train, so we were just saying hello."

The girl raised one eyebrow. "Wouldn't blame you either way. Who are you, then?" she asked.

"Holly Hartwell."

"I'm Callista Thornton," the girl answered, in a way that gave the impression she normally spoke to boys, not girls. "Never seen you before."

"I transferred here for my final year," Holly explained. "My sister got a job at the Ministry of Magic, so we moved over here until-" she stopped as the huge platters that ran the length of the table suddenly filled with food. Everything look delicious, and she helped herself to chicken, vegetables, pasta, and whatever else she fancied. Cammy wasn't there to criticise her table manners now. "She's going to be working in the Department of International Magical Cooperation," she continued eventually.

"That's not an English accent," Callista noted as she daintily started cutting up a piece of pork. "Where did you transfer from? Anywhere interesting?"

Holly shrugged. " _L'Accademia del Sortilegio_ ," she said simply. To her, it wasn't that special, or even that exotic - it was just one school, and Hogwarts was another. Callista, however, looked mollified, as if her first impression of Holly hadn't been a very good one and had now changed. She pressed for more information, and Holly found herself describing her school, the classes, the castle, the other students, and anything else Callista could think of. The exchange continued throughout dinner and dessert, and eventually they got up and left the table together, heading up to their dormitory amid the cluster of newly-sorted Ravenclaws and the rest of their house. The door they finally reached, after climbing several staircases, had a large bronze knocker in the shape of an eagle's head, that came to life when they approached and spoke in a soft, musical tone. "What, once shared, is no longer kept?" it asked.

There was a short pause. "What's going on?" Holly whispered.

"We don't have passwords, we have puzzles," Callista said. "You have to answer a question to get in - if you get it wrong, you just have to wait until someone can answer it. Helps us learn stuff, apparently, but it's bloody annoying when you've been in the library all night and you just want to go to bed."

Holly thought for a second, then grinned. "I can't tell you - it's a secret," she called out.

"Very funny," said the knocker, and the door swung open to let them all in.

The Ravenclaw common room was wide and circular, with high walls lined with bookcases and tall, peaked windows that looked out across the grounds - of course, at that moment, everything was dark outside, but Holly knew the view would be spectacular in daytime, and the room would fill with streams of light on a sunny day. The ceiling was a deep, midnight blue, painted with enchanted stars, to mimic the constellations in the sky outside and move with the turn of the Earth. Stepping further into the room, Holly felt her feet sink deep into the thick carpet, and she couldn't help but smile. It was wonderful. Comfy, inviting armchairs were dotted around, along with several desks, a beautiful globe with a glittering moon orbiting it of its own volition, and several portraits of Ravenclaws past. The two house prefects led the first-years across the room to an intricately-carved marble statue of a woman wearing a tiara. The door next to the statue swung open and the group disappeared up the stairs.

Holly wanted to explore the bookshelves further, spotting several titles she'd never seen before, but Callista took her by the arm and directed her up the stairs after the rest of the students, right to the top of the tower to the seventh-year dormitories. Here was a circle of pretty four-poster beds, made from light polished oak and hung with rich blue velvet curtains. Each bed had a trunk at its foot, and Holly headed over to hers and flung herself on top of the bed, starfishing her arms and legs. "This is amazing!" she cried.

"Glad you like it," Callista laughed. "You're all unpacked, the house-elves will have done it for you. We can just relax." She perched on her own bed across the room and started taking off her shoes. The door opened and three more girls came in, looking slightly surprised to see a stranger in their midst, especially one sprawled across her bed with happy abandon. Holly sat up and introduced herself - Callista had monopolised her attention at dinner, so she hadn't really had a chance to get to know anyone else yet. The girls all seemed friendly enough, if a little bit blunt when it came to asking questions, and the same could be said of the rest of their dorm-mates when they trailed into the room later. Lying comfortably on their beds, they all chatted companionably for an hour or so by the gentle candlelight.

Eventually, one-by-one, the girls got under their blankets and closed their curtains, each retreating into their private little world. Holly lay snug, and stared at the canopy above her, which was also decorated with twinkling stars embroidered in silver thread. Outside, the wind whistling around the tower was oddly calming. She felt content, at last, after reeling from excitement to disappointment to apprehension and what felt like everything in between during the day.

The next day would be her first official day at Hogwarts - she'd put on her robes, go down for breakfast with her new friends, get her timetable, and finally start her last year in a brand-new school full of brand-new things. She couldn't wait.

* * *

Holly couldn't help but notice the whispering that followed her down the stairs the next morning - surely she wasn't that interesting, was she? But it couldn't be denied; people were staring at her, and she didn't particularly like it. She even caught a Slytherin boy pointing right at her when she entered the Great Hall for breakfast, but the finger was withdrawn when Holly fixed him with a fierce glare. She turned her back and sat down at the Ravenclaw table, pulling a huge fruit bowl towards her and picking up a peach.

She was sat slicing the peach into neat pieces when Callista joined her, along with Elena, Allison, Louise, and Pandora, other Ravenclaw girls from their year. "You look like you're plotting to kill someone," she said by way of greeting, pointing out the sharp knife in Holly's hand.

"I will do if people keep treating me like a circus act. Why is everybody staring at me? Don't they have anything more interesting to talk about?" Holly speared a piece of fruit on the end of the knife and ate it quickly with a scowl on her face.

"There's plenty more interesting stuff, but nobody wants to talk about it," Pandora, sitting next to Holly, said in a placid way while spooning cornflakes into a bowl. "Disappearances, murders, raids, prison breaks, Muggles being…"

Elena smacked her on the arm. "Dora, shush." She turned to Holly and offered a blithe smile. "The point is, with all the horrible stuff that's happening elsewhere, people will grasp at anything to distract them, how matter how negligible. No offence."

At that moment, the air was filled with the sound of rustling wings, and owls of every shape and size flew into the room carrying various parcels. Holly spotted Cosmo right away, being one of the largest, and she held out her arm. He landed there gratefully and immediately stuck his beak into Pandora's cornflakes, depositing a letter on Holly's plate, a short note written in unfamiliar loopy handwriting.

"That's from Professor Flitwick," Pandora commented, reaching out to stroke Cosmo's head. He hooted softly before taking off after his new owlish friends, digging his talons into Holly's arms as he did so. "He's head of Ravenclaw."

"What's he want?" Callista asked around a mouthful of eggs.

Holly scanned the note. "He wants me to stay behind after Charms to speak to him about my career options." She folded the note up neatly and stuck it in her bag, along with an apple from the fruit bowl.

Charms was the first class she had that day, and was mostly taken up by a discussion of their N.E.W.T.s and what they would entail. Professor Flitwick, a tiny wizard who needed to stand on a stack of books to be seen across the classroom, reiterated in his high, squeaky voice the importance of taking N.E.W.T.s, where they could take you, how hard everyone needed to work, and several other things that they'd all heard the year before. Holly tried to listen, but thanks to her sister's constant nagging as soon as she'd been given the go-ahead to transfer schools, she knew exactly which classes she needed to take and the grades required. She said much the same when she met with Flitwick after class.

"So, you're looking to become a curse-breaker, are you?" he asked benignly, flicking through a thin sheaf of papers containing her grades from _L'Accademia_.

Holly nodded. "Like my father, Aloysius Hartwell, sir," she said. She didn't expect Flitwick to know who her father was, but she'd got into the habit of explaining the reason for her chosen career path whenever it came up - most people, mainly Camellia's friends and their distant relations, thought it was a reckless thing to do for a living.

Flitwick nodded in approval. "Well, you'll need high marks across the board for that, Miss Hartwell. Of course, given the...events of recent years, Gringotts has lowered their expectations, but only slightly." He picked up a copy of Holly's timetable and scanned it quickly. "I see you're already scheduled for all the required classes; Defence Against the Dark Arts, Potions, Transfiguration, Charms," he gave her a brief smile, "Ancient Runes, and Arithmancy."

"Yes, sir. I also took _Lingue_...um...Languages of the Wizarding World, Magical Lore, and Astronomy at my old school." She felt slightly uncomfortable under the bright gaze of her Head of House - how he could have such an imposing presence when he was so small was beyond her. She supposed it was because he was right next to her, and the stack of books he was standing on gave the illusion that he was actually taller than she was (if she didn't look down).

The tiny professor clapped his hands together decidedly. "Well, I don't see any reason why you shouldn't pursue your chosen career. Your marks are consistent in all your subjects, and you've proven yourself to have a particular aptitude with languages, and Defence Against the Dark Arts. You will, however, need to work hard to maintain the required level in Potions." He produced a quill, seemingly from thin air, and scribbled a quick note on a scrap of parchment. "Give this to Professor McGonagall when you go to Transfiguration - I'm sure she won't mind you being a few minutes late for a good reason."

Holly doubted that, but took the note anyway. "Thank you, _professore_ ," she said with some relief. It was reassuring to know that what she wanted to do with her life wasn't completely ridiculous, as Camellia never tired of telling her. She would have much preferred that her younger sister worked in a sensible desk job, like her, or better yet didn't work at all and simply lived as a kept woman, producing a brood of Pureblood babies at regular intervals. How she could still have such narrow-minded views of the wizarding world was beyond Holly's comprehension.

The rest of the day passed relatively easily, as most of the classes were simply a reiteration of the importance of N.E.W.T.s, copied almost verbatim from teacher to teacher. When four o'clock arrived there was a collective sigh of relief from the seventh-years, which thankfully went unnoticed by Professor Slughorn, the Potions Master. He started clearing his desk absent-mindedly, bidding them farewell.

Holly was first out of the classroom, but once she started walking it was at a very sluggish pace. The day hadn't involved much thinking, but she was still exhausted, and her head was spinning. She was looking forward to relaxing in the common room, maybe exploring some of the books and unwinding before dinner.

She felt a hand on her arm and immediately spun around in surprise. A Slytherin boy, who she vaguely recognised, was smiling down at her. "Thought I'd never seen you before," the boy said. His teeth were very white and straight and it looked like there were too many of them in his mouth, like a shark. Looking up into his face in disbelief, she suddenly realised that he was the one who'd been pointing at her during breakfast.

Very slowly and deliberately, Holly lifted his hand off her and dropped it, taking a step back. "And you'll never see me again, if I can help it," she said, sounding a lot braver than she felt. _L'Accademia_ wasn't an all-girls school, so she wasn't entirely unfamiliar with the attentions of the opposite sex, but she'd still never experienced someone being so forward with her.

The boy looked affronted for a second, but then he laid it on even thicker. "Name's Travers," he said, as if it should have meant something.

"I. Don't. Care." Holly turned and started walking away again, noticing as she did so that they were the only ones left in the corridor. She tried not to let this worry her. " _Stronzo_ ," she muttered under her breath, hoping Travers heard her.

He was suddenly there again, in front of her this time, and not looking happy. "How dare you walk away from me," he said in a cold tone.

Holly narrowed her eyes at him. She might not have been brave and brash enough to be a Gryffindor, but she hated when people assumed that they could boss her around - it was why she and Camellia were always arguing. "Is this what constitutes flirting in England, or is it just you?" she snapped, her accent growing thicker with every word. "I can walk away from whoever I like, Travers, and right now, I would like to walk away from you."

It happened very quickly - Travers grabbed her again and looked ready to strike her; Holly drew her wand and aimed it at his face; and out of nowhere a bolt of white light flew past her ear and hit Travers in the shoulder, making him recoil. The momentum caused him to fling Holly against the wall, but she managed to stay upright while watching him crash to the floor.

"OI!" came a cry from down the corridor. "What the bloody hell are you doing?"

Holly looked up, slightly dazed, and saw Sirius Black advancing on Travers with his wand drawn and a furious look on his face. "Get away from her," he growled.

"Blood traitor," Travers sneered. He wasn't so intimidating when sprawled on the floor. He struggled to push himself to his feet, the arm that had been hit by Sirius's spell hanging uselessly at his side. "This doesn't concern you."

"Doesn't concern you either," Sirius snapped. "Get out of here." He raised his wand again, and kept it raised until Travers had turned and walked away, not before casting a furious scowl at Holly. She glared back, but the effect was lessened somewhat when she had to shut her eyes at the throbbing pain in her head. When she opened them, Sirius was in front of her. He gently helped her sit down and lean against the wall.

"You've got to be careful with Slytherins," he said. "They're not all bastards, but the nastiest ones feel completely justified whatever they do, with everything else that's happening." He gave Holly an enquiring look. "Are you alright? Did he do anything to you?"

"Nothing big." Holly reached up and clutched the side of her head, her fingers probing the tender spot where a lump was starting to form. She grimaced. "He threw me quite hard, though, after your spell hit him."

Sirius frowned. "Do you want to go to the hospital wing? I'll take you. Or we could report him. James is Head Boy, he'll make sure something happens."

Holly shook her head slowly. "I'll be fine," she insisted. She looked at him properly, and smiled. " _Grazie._ I thought everybody else had gone upstairs - I mean, if you hadn't turned up…"

"Forgot one of my books," Sirius explained. He was smiling back at her, and Holly was struck by how pretty he was - not a word she'd normally associate with a man, but in this case it was true. She liked the way his black hair flicked up at the ends. He stood up and held his hand out to her, which she took gratefully, then pulled her to her feet. "Come on," he said, "Remus always has chocolate, no matter the time of day. I reckon you could do with some."


	4. Hogsmeade

**~Disclaimer: the wonderful wizarding world of Harry Potter does not belong to me.**

* * *

"I don't believe it. I just...how is that even possible? You've been at Hogwarts for two days. _Two days_ , and you've already spoken to James Potter, been in a fight with a Slytherin, and Sirius Black saved your life!"

Callista was pacing around the dormitory, gesticulating as she spoke. Holly watched her progress with an amused smile. "It wasn't a fight, and he didn't save my life," she said calmly. "You're being dramatic."

"You were injured, and he took care of you." Callista stopped in the middle of the rug and stared at her as if she was in idiot for not understanding the significance of this. "There are fourth-year girls that would kill to have him bump into them in the hallway, and he took care of you." She gestured to the cold, damp towel that Holly was pressing against her head.

"He was just being nice," Holly said, shrugging. "I didn't want to go to the hospital wing."

Callista sat down on the bed next to her with a thump. "Travers is a slimeball," she grumbled, taking the towel from Holly and putting it next to a bowl of water on the bedside table. "I would say you should have reported him, but Merlin knows how many girls have tried that, and somehow he always manages to weasel his way out of it." She gently reached up and parted Holly's hair, looking at the bump underneath. "The swelling's gone down - you'll probably have a bruise, though."

"Bruises can be hidden," Holly said simply. "At least I can go down to dinner without a throbbing headache."

They wandered down to the Great Hall together in relative silence, which Holly appreciated after such a long day. Normal dinners, rather than the beginning-of-term feast, seemed to be a bit more casual, and while students still remained within their houses, they were more scattered, and less of them were wearing full uniform. Holly spotted Travers on the far side of the room and immediately averted her eyes, keeping her head down and her fists clenched as she walked to the Ravenclaw table. She could feel his gaze on the back of her neck, and pointedly ignored him while she ate. Instead, she thought of Sirius, his friends, and how nice they'd all been, reminding herself that teenage boys could actually be lovely people.

After that, the two months or so of the term passed without incident; the bump on Holly's head disappeared, she made a point to never linger by herself when Travers or any of his friends were around, and she got to know more people outside Ravenclaw after being partnered up in class several times. She met the girl that James Potter had his eye on, Head Girl Lily Evans - a smart, quick-witted beauty with a sharp tongue and an aptitude for Potions and Charms - and they became fast friends, arranging to meet a couple of times a week and work on Holly's potioneering skills. With everything that was going on, the Travers-shaped blot that marred an otherwise positive beginning to the year soon faded into nothingness.

The only other problem was the sudden influx of mountains of homework. All their teachers, even the affable Professor Flitwick, were behaving as if they absolutely had to set them every essay possible within a certain amount of time or something awful would happen. Holly didn't mind being busy - in fact, she preferred putting her mind to good use - but when their first scheduled Hogsmeade visit of the year arrived towards the end of October, she was definitely grateful for a little bit of time off. She and her dorm-mates, being old enough to not need a permission slip to visit the little village, all decided to walk down together.

On the day of the trip though, a bright and brisk Saturday, Holly was running late. She was sat at one of the common room desks by the window, writing a letter to her sister, with Cosmo perched on her shoulder (he was heavy, but she was used to it). She was scribbling as fast as she could, but it wasn't long before Pandora appeared next to her, petted the owl, and stood there in an expectant sort of way. "Are you coming with us, Holly?" she asked in her usual placid tone.

"Give me a minute," Holly replied, dipping her quill in the inkwell again. She signed her name, quickly blew all over the words, and gave her letter a critical once-over. Her handwriting got messier towards the end, but it always did when she was in a hurry. She'd put everything in there that she knew Camellia would want to hear, anyway. With a decided nod, she folded up the parchment and melted her last bit of wax over the join, then quickly wrote the address on the front and handed the letter to Cosmo. He hooted in acknowledgement and took off out of the window, gliding silently away from them over the grounds.

"He's a beautiful owl," Pandora commented, watching him fly away. She was wearing a long coat made of bright purple wool, which she buttoned up while she waited for Holly to put her things away, and a striped scarf that trailed on the floor.

Holly smiled. "He was my dad's for a bit," she said, packing her parchment and quills into the front pocket of the large bag slung across her shoulder. "When Dad died a couple of years ago, my sister didn't want him, so I got him instead. He's very lazy most of the time, but I think he's great." She pulled on a hat over her loose curly hair and stood up. "Where are the others?"

Pandora gestured to the common room door. "They already went down - I expect if they're not waiting for us by the door then we'll see them in the Three Broomsticks."

The two blondes walked down to Hogsmeade together, after having their names checked off a long list by a surly-looking Filch, who muttered about "too much freedom" and "should be studying" and "better not be bringing any mud into the castle". Holly had never been to the village before, so Pandora took delight in telling her all about the shops there as they picked their way down the rough and puddle-strewn track.

"You'll want to stay out of Madam Puddifoot's," she was saying as she hopped neatly over a large pool of muddy water. "It's full of couples, and there's frills on everything. Hurts my eyes."

Holly laughed. "So where would you recommend?" She shoved her hands deeper into her pockets, wishing she'd worn gloves. There was a definite chill in the air.

Pandora cocked her head to one side as she thought. "Honeydukes is nice," she said finally. "I like the No-Melt Ice Cream best. I tried to make something like that at home, but my mum and dad only have a Muggle freezer and everything so I just ended up making a big puddle on the kitchen floor." She smiled.

The village was filled with people when they arrived, which was surprising given how cold it had suddenly become. Holly spotted a few people she knew, and even more she didn't, as students and townsfolk hurried up and down the high street with their hands full of boxes and bags. She said her goodbyes to Pandora and headed into a shop called Scrivenshaft's, looking for more sealing wax. She thought she might try and do some very early Christmas shopping while she was in there, too; Camellia was always running out of writing supplies with the amount of letters and reports she had to write.

Scrivenshaft's was welcomingly quiet after the hustle of the street outside, and Holly took a moment to breathe in the scents of fresh ink, new parchment, and leather-bound notebooks - some of her favourite things. The owner, a small man with very thick eyebrows and smears of ink all over his fingers, looked up from the list he was writing and gave her a brief nod. There was nobody else in the shop that she could see.

The sealing wax was near the back of the shop, in the corner furthest from the door, and Holly slalomed between several small display tables on her way over, trying desperately not to knock anything onto the floor. She chose black wax, as well as a stick of red for important letters, then spotted a pretty wooden seal carved with the head of a wolf, and picked that up as well. On her way back to the counter, she added a fat blank book bound in deep grey leather and three new quills to the pile.

It was then that she spotted Sirius at the counter, buying a large stack of new parchment and some ink. He counted out eight silver Sickles for the shopkeeper, then leant against the counter with casual elegance while his purchases were wrapped in brown paper and string. He glanced over and gave Holly a nonchalant salute. "Need a hand?" he asked, nodding at the objects piled in her arms.

She dumped them on the counter in response. "I'm good, thanks," she said, giving him a small smile.

Instead of leaving once he'd been given his package, he hung round while Holly was getting hers. She could feel his eyes on her, but it didn't set off alarm bells like it did with other people - she usually hated the prickly feeling on her neck of somebody watching her. With Sirius, it felt oddly comfortable.

"Who's the book for?" he asked suddenly.

Holly looked up from her purse. "My sister," she said. "I only have one person to buy Christmas presents for, so I thought I'd get it done now and then I don't have to worry about it nearer the time." She paid Scrivenshaft, then suddenly her cold fingers fumbled and her purse went tumbling towards the floor.

In a flash, Sirius had bent down and caught it, saving the coins inside from rolling away across the shop, never to be seen again. He straightened up and placed it back on the counter, grinning at Holly, who was frozen halfway towards grabbing it herself. "So does that mean I'm not getting a present?" he asked. His lower lip quivered and he fixed her with big, sad, puppy-dog eyes.

Holly raised an eyebrow at him, tucking what she'd bought into her bag. "How about I buy you a drink, instead? I'm freezing, and Pandora told me that Butterbeer really warms you up."

"I'll stick to Firewhisky," Sirius said. He offered his elbow, and Holly looked thoughtful for a second before linking her arm through his and letting him lead the way.

* * *

The popular local tavern, The Three Broomsticks, was absolutely packed with Hogwarts students sheltering from the cold wind outside - when Holly and Sirius walked in, a wave of warmth, chatter, and the strong smell of mingling drinks greeted them. Holly took off her hat and unbuttoned her coat. "Point me to the bar, and find a table," she said to Sirius, who was scraping the mud off his boots by the door. He jerked his thumb towards where the majority of the crowd was congregated, and she set off through the hubbub in search of something to chase away the chill.

Squashed in a group next to the bar, Callista and some of the other Ravenclaw girls from their dorm were laughing loudly and discussing something Allison had read in Witch Weekly. Pandora was the only one who noticed when Holly got there, and she waved.

Callista span around. "Holly!" she cried, giving her a hug. "Hey! Where have you been?"

Holly kissed her on both cheeks, noticing as she did that her friend's breath smelled slightly of alcohol. "I went to Scrivenshaft's," she explained, trying to signal the landlady who was down the other end of the bar serving three wizards in fluffy hats. "Got some new wax, and something for Cammy for Christmas."

"Well, join us, join us," Callista insisted, swigging from a foaming tankard of Butterbeer. She put her arm around Holly's shoulders and tried to get her to move further into their little huddle. Holly gently extricated herself from her friend's grip.

"Actually," she said, finally catching the landlady's eye, "I'm here with Sirius."

"You are?" Allison asked. They all stared at her.

Holly felt her cheeks turning pink with embarrassment. "Yeah, I mean, I bumped into him in the shop - hot Butterbeer and a double Firewhisky, please - and I figured I owed him a drink, no?" She started fishing in her bag for some coins, hiding her burning face.

Callista leaned over and whispered in her ear. "Is there something you're not telling me?" she hissed.

"We're just having a drink together," Holly enunciated carefully. She paid for her drinks and picked them up, scanning the room for a sign of Sirius's shiny black hair and red-and-gold Gryffindor scarf. She finally spotted him in the corner, having managed to commandeer a cosy little nook by sprawling himself over a bench. "I'll see you later," she called over her shoulder and set off into the crowd, weaving gracefully between the tables.

"Tell me everything!" Callista shouted in her wake. Holly blushed and tried to ignore her.

Sirius stood up when she approached, relieving her of the drinks and taking a sip of Firewhisky as they both sat down. Holly removed her coat and cupped her tankard of Butterbeer in her hands. Opposite her, Sirius leaned back against the wall and stretched his legs out under the table. He looked relaxed, which was more than Holly could say for herself - she felt out of sorts all of a sudden, nervous and uncomfortable, and she couldn't work out why. She took a sip of Butterbeer for something to do.

And promptly spat it out.

"Ugh!" she cried, pushing the tankard away across the table. "That's horrible!"

Sirius burst out laughing. "Have you never tried Butterbeer before?"

Holly shook her head viciously. "It's so...sickly! Tastes like melted toffees." She grimaced and stuck out her tongue.

"Here." He leaned over and handed her his glass. "Take the taste away."

She took a tentative sip, then grinned. "Much better." The Firewhisky flooded her body with warmth, right to the tips of her fingers and toes. "Thank you."

Sirius smiled. "So, drink preferences aside, how are you doing? How's Hogwarts turning out?" He took his drink and sat back, looking casual but watching her with a gaze that made her feel like she was the only person in the room.

She didn't know where to begin. "It's...different," she said at last, gathering her thoughts. Sirius raised one eyebrow expectantly. "I don't...I don't really know what to say, to be honest. You've got me all tongue-tied, and I know that Callista and the others will be talking." She ducked her head.

"Hey," he said in a much softer tone. Holly looked up at him through her fringe. "Don't worry about them, and don't worry about me. You can ignore me completely if you want to - I'm only here for a free drink and because it's bloody freezing outside." The corner of his mouth quirked up, telling her he was joking. "Talk to me, talk to yourself, talk to nobody. I don't give a shit."

It made her feel better, strangely; Sirius and his friends seemed to have a knack for making her feel better. She stopped thinking about the spectacle she'd just caused by pulling faces and spitting her drink out. "Okay. Hogwarts, according to Holly. Ravenclaw girls are friendly but they gossip too much. The common room is amazing; I like sitting by the windows while I work so I can see the grounds, and I hope that it doesn't get too cold because I like to go for walks when I need a break. The food is delicious, but I wish we didn't eat so many roast dinners; we don't have scales but I know I've put on some weight. Classes are pretty much what I expected, in terms of difficulty - Defence Against the Dark Arts is my favourite, Potions is hard but Lily has been invaluable. Filch and Madam Pince seem to be made for each other, but they're so busy scowling at the students that they haven't noticed. I've managed to avoid detention so far. Oh, and I've recently discovered that I absolutely cannot stand Butterbeer." She ticked off the items on her fingers as she spoke.

Sirius watched her with a small smile on his face. He liked the way her face and hands became more and more animated as she went on - she gestured a lot, at nothing in particular, to emphasise her speech, and the more words she said the faster they came out. When she subsided, he realised that he hadn't really taken in everything she'd said, and he felt a bit guilty. "What was that about Filch and Madam Pince?"

"The greatest love story never told," Holly said, spreading her arms wide as if the words were written on a billboard hanging in the air. "The Librarian and the Caretaker, kept apart by the hundreds of evil children determined to ruin their lives. Add Filch's cat to the mix and you've got a tragic love triangle." There was a pause, then they both started laughing, and any remaining tension between them disappeared. An hour slipped by like nothing - Sirius bought more rounds of drinks, swapping Holly's Butterbeer out so she could join him in Firewhisky, and they chatted about their classes, their friends, the people they hated. Holly didn't have any 'enemies' at school, but Sirius was more than happy to slag people off, most of them in Slytherin. As he talked, Holly found herself leaning forward, with her elbows on the table and her chin resting in her hands.

He was grumbling about someone he called Snivellus when Holly held up her hand. "Enough," she said. "Enough misery." The Firewhisky seemed to have given her a bit more confidence, because she suddenly scooted along the bench until their thighs were touching. Her head felt light and heavy at the same time. "What are you doing after dinner?"

"Hmm?" Sirius turned his head, and it took a second for his eyes to focus on her face. "I'll be in the library. Got that Transfiguration essay to do."

"Then I will join you. I like Transfiguration, and I like you." _Oddio_ , _the drink has loosened my tongue_ , she thought. _Why didn't I switch to pumpkin juice?_ She held her breath.

Sirius cocked his head to one side and looked at her curiously. He liked this girl, with her flamboyant hand gestures and lilting accent, and he got the feeling that it would be fun to get her to argue with him over homework. "Okay, sure. It's a date."

At that moment, James appeared, with Remus and Peter in tow, all of them wrapped up warm and rubbing their arms. "Who's got a date?" he asked, picking up Sirius's glass and taking a swig.

"We do!" Sirius declared, and to Holly's surprise he threw his arm around her. "We're going to be good students and write our essays together."

"That…was not what I expected you to say," Remus remarked dryly.


	5. Friendship and Firewhisky

**Disclaimer: The wonderful wizarding world of Harry Potter does not belong to me.**

* * *

Dinner that night was over very quickly - Holly didn't feel like telling Callista about what she insisted on calling her 'date' with Sirius at the Three Broomsticks, so she arrived in the Great Hall early and sat away from anyone else she was on first-name terms with. She wolfed down some beef and vegetable stew and a crusty bread roll as quickly as she could, then headed back upstairs to get her books and notes.

The dormitory was empty, and she took a moment to sit on her bed and gather her thoughts, plaiting a few strands of her hair together as she did so. _It's just homework_ , she told herself. _Nothing romantic. You could stand to make a few more friends while you're here anyway._ Resolute, she gathered up her books, parchment, quill and ink, packing it all in her bag and making her way to the library.

On arrival, she spotted Madam Pince skulking between the shelves, directing a huge tower of books in front of her and waving her wand to send them back to their respective shelves. She turned her head and fixed Holly with her aged-vulture stare, but didn't say anything. Holly waved halfheartedly, then quickly made her way to an empty desk. She spread her books and parchment across the surface, arranging them neatly. She already had some notes from class, so she started to re-read them while she waited.

"Sailors fighting in the dance hall...oh man, look at those cavemen go...it's the freakiest show..." She started singing to herself under her breath as she worked. She picked up her quill and stuck the tip of it in her mouth, scanning her notes to see if there was anything useful.

"Take a look at the lawman, beating up the wrong guy…" A smooth male voice joined hers as the song continued, and she looked up to see Sirius grinning at her as he put his books down on the desk across from hers. "Great choice," he said, pulling back a chair. The legs scraped across the floor, too loud in the otherwise silent space, and he winced. "Sorry."

Holly chuckled. "No matter. Bowie fan?" She shifted some of her notes so he could have a space to work in.

"Now and then. If any Muggle should have been a wizard, it's him. Or Freddie Mercury." He sat down, tilting the chair back and stretching his legs out under the table, so Holly had to tuck her feet out of the way. "Right. So. Transfiguration." He pulled out a quill, filled it with ink and held it poised above the page, looking at her expectantly.

It took a second. "Oh! You want me to start us off?" Holly rolled her eyes and picked up a sheet of parchment. " _Allora_. Transfiguration of the Body and Physical Features for Purposes of Deception and Disguise. Discuss advantages, disadvantages, and utilisation, with reference to prior reading and Gamp's Law of Elemental Transfiguration." She glanced up, and saw that Sirius was staring at her. "What is it?"

"Nothing," he insisted. "Go on." Holly raised an eyebrow, but turned her gaze back to the parchment in front of her. She continued to read out the notes she had taken over the last few classes, and all the while Sirius wouldn't stop watching her. Eventually she put the notes down with a huff and fixed him with a questioning look. "Why do you keep staring?"

He cleared his throat and looked away. "Was I? I hadn't realised," he said innocently.

"Yes, you were. It's distracting."

Sirius had the grace to look abashed, but only for a second before that wicked grin was back on his face. "Sorry. You're very attractive when you're reading aloud."

Holly raised her eyebrows, not sure what to say in response. After a second of silence, she gave him a small smile. "Thank you," she said somewhat primly. She started writing, and eventually Sirius joined in, so they worked together in silence for a while.

Other people started trickling in, heading up en-route from the Great Hall to return or borrow books, and the library began to gradually fill with a gentle hum of noise. Every so often, whenever one of them would move or shift position, their legs would brush together, and every time they did, without fail, Sirius would make a comment. Trying not to blush at his latest remark about her tights, Holly blocked him out and concentrated fiercely on the page in front of her. Eventually, she was almost completely unaware of her surroundings, becoming so absorbed in her writing and the rhythmic scratch of quill on parchment that she jumped out of her skin when she absently reached for a book and found Sirius's hand instead.

Instinctively, she drew her hand back, but he caught hold of it and laced their fingers together. She stared at their interlocked hands, her golden skin against his pale pinkish-cream, not knowing what to say and not wanting to break them apart. He had very soft skin.

"This doesn't feel weird at all," Sirius commented suddenly, in the tone of voice one might use when discussing results of an experiment. "I thought it would feel weird."

Holly looked at him, frowning slightly. "Why did you think that? Did it feel weird with everyone else?" She knew about his womanising reputation from Callista's gossiping, so she wasn't surprised that he'd tried it with her. Flattered, slightly, yes, and also a bit annoyed, but not surprised. She didn't let go.

"What? No." He lifted his hands up in an 'I surrender' position, bringing hers with him. "What do you mean by that?"

Holly turned their hands over and kept her eyes fixed on them, not looking at his face as she spoke. "I know...that you've gone through a lot of girls while you've been here. You flirt, and you joke, and they never last very long. And here you are, flirting with me, joking with me, and I'd like to just focus on my essay before I end up just being the latest in a long line." She dropped his hand and picked up her quill instead, pulling the book she'd wanted towards her.

Sirius put his hand on the cover, keeping the book closed. "Where did you get that impression of me? You don't know me. Not that well." He sounded annoyed.

"Friends. Callista told me that I was very lucky to have you 'save my life'" - she bent her fingers into air quotes - "and that all the girls in school want to be with you. You oblige some, but not most. And I figure, I am a new person here, I am someone you've never tried it with before, so you want to give it a go. You buy me drinks and offer to carry my shopping and do homework with me, and you give me compliments and hold my hand. It's quite obvious." She put her head back down and carried on writing something, signalling that she was done.

Sirius wasn't. "Holly," he said, and a shiver ran down her spine because her name sounded so strange coming from him. Nobody had ever said her name like that before; a mix of concern, exasperation, annoyance, and amusement, the way that her father had said her mother's name when he was trying to make her smile after they'd argued. "Holly, I want to be friends with you. When we met on the train, I thought you were really cool, and you held it together really well even though Moon - er, Remus, said later that your sister had treated you like shit before the train left. I guess I thought we had some stuff in common, plus you're smart, and funny, and you beat everyone's arses in Defence Against the Dark Arts last week." They both smiled at each other. "Look," continued Sirius, "I like you, but I don't like this idea that I'm some sort of ladykiller. I mean, I'm pretty irresistible, and I'm a hell of a flirt" - he winked at her - "but I don't just treat girls like rubbish and chuck them aside whenever I want. I'm a proper romantic, really." He took her hand again and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "Can we start again? Without the stupid assumptions?" Once again, he fixed her with a pair of shining grey puppy-dog eyes.

Holly shook her head at him, but she was smiling. "Okay. Friends? And Transfiguration essay partners?" She offered him her other hand, and he shook it.

"Friends and Transfiguration essay partners," Sirius agreed, making no secret of the fact that he was trying to read her homework upside-down.


	6. A Happy Memory

**Disclaimer: The wonderful wizarding world of Harry Potter does not belong to me.**

* * *

A few days later, Holly realised on her way down to Potions that she hadn't seen Remus all day. In recent weeks she'd usually been bumping into him at least three times between classes, sometimes at lunch, and she always saw him in class, writing notes and asking questions in his quietly studious way.

When the seventh-years arrived in the dungeons, Holly headed over to the table she usually shared with Lily, who was already sitting there unpacking her notebook and quill. She looked up when Holly sat beside her and smiled. "Hey, you," she said. "What's the matter? You look...perplexed."

"Have you seen Remus today?" Holly asked. She glanced away for a second to get out her own notes, so she didn't notice the way Lily's eyes widened as she tried to think of an explanation. "Is he alright?"

"He's ill," Lily said suddenly. "James told me this morning, he couldn't come down. Couldn't move, really."

Holly's eyebrows shot up. " _Oddio_...what is it?" She sounded scared.

Lily placed her hand gently on Holly's arm. "Nothing awful, don't panic. I think James and Sirius took him to the hospital wing, so he'll be fine in a couple of days. Madam Pomfrey can work wonders."

"Should I...visit him?" Holly was still worried. She liked Remus, and not just because he'd been the first Hogwarts student to speak to her properly. She didn't want him to be lying in bed, suffering for days.

"I...wouldn't." Lily shook her head. "He mostly just needs rest."

Placated for the moment, Holly opened her book and wrote the date in the corner of the page. Professor Slughorn suddenly bustled into the room, leaving a trail of crumbs in his wake, and the lesson began. Holly and Lily worked well as a potioneering team, chopping and grinding ingredients, making notes, and laughing together when Holly knocked over a small glass bottle and a cloud of ground dragonfly wings puffed into the air. The tiny, glittering fragments landed in their hair, on their robes, and even between their pages of notes. Quickly, they both cast _Scourgify_ before Slughorn noticed.

"Sorry," Holly laughed, brushing specks of powder off her notebook.

Lily smiled. "Don't worry, it's definitely not the worst things that's happened in Potions. You're actually getting a lot better, you know - you're properly listening to everything I say, and using that knowledge. Makes a nice change from people just thinking I'm a Muggle-born and nothing else; I should have more Ravenclaw friends."

Holly stared at her. "Do people really treat you like that?" As a Pureblood witch, she'd never been the target of such barbs, but she'd seen it happen to others. She hated it.

"Not as often now," Lily shrugged. "I'm Head Girl, so most people just see that instead of my blood status. But…" she lowered her voice, "with everything happening outside the castle walls, the killings and the disappearances and everything else, people are starting to feel more justified in what they say and do to hurt others." She turned away, fixing her gaze on the cauldron and stirring their potion. Her hand was trembling.

"Well," Holly said suddenly, "whoever thinks that knows _un bel niente_ , and you don't listen to them. You're a witch, and a fantastic one, and that is enough for anyone in their right mind." She glanced around and lowered her voice, whispering in Lily's ear. "It's definitely enough for a certain...Head Boy? With glasses and very messy hair?" She nudged her with her elbow.

"Shut up," Lily hissed back, but she was smiling, and Holly knew she'd managed to distract her.

The rest of the lesson passed in a flash, and just before the bell rang Professor Slughorn announced their attempt at creating Anti-Paralysis Potion to be the most successful in the class - a decent day all round. Except Holly was still filled with lingering worry about Remus, and she had to resist the urge to go up to the hospital wing and visit him after dinner.

Instead, she found herself wandering slowly back up to Ravenclaw tower, accompanied by Callista, who was chattering away about how someone called David Corner and how he'd been staring at her at the dinner table for ages. She nodded along and said "mmm" and "oh" in all the right places, but something was niggling at the back of her head and she couldn't think about anything else. She often got that same feeling, usually when she was working on something and trying hard to figure out another piece of the puzzle. More often than not it went away once she'd found the solution, but it was quite distracting until that happened.

The feeling remained right up until Halloween, when Holly walked into Defence Against the Dark Arts in the morning and saw Remus sitting with Peter, talking softly. He looked pale and drawn, like he hadn't eaten in days, and there seemed to be some fresh scratches on his hands, which she noticed when he gestured to emphasise whatever point he was making.

He turned and suddenly caught her eye, and she couldn't help it - she beamed at him. "How are you feeling?" she asked as she sat down at the desk next to the two of them, waving at Peter. He waved back, but like nearly all the other times they'd met he didn't actually say anything - she wondered if he was afraid of her. "Lily told me you were sick."

The smile he gave her was a bit stiff, as if he still wasn't completely well, but well enough to attend classes. "I'm fine now. Madam Pomfrey fixed me up."

The door banged open then, and their teacher for that year, Professor Astrid, strode into the room, deep purple robes billowing behind her. She approached the front of the classroom and stood surveying the class, her bright hazel eyes checking each seat to make sure every single student was there. Once she was satisfied, she addressed the room at large.

"Good morning, everyone," she began, her lilting Welsh accent projected right to the back of the room. "Today we'll be starting to work on exploring the Patronus Charm. Who can tell me what the Patronus Charm is used for?" She scanned the room again, and pointed at Remus, who'd immediately raised his hand.

"It's a force of positivity," he said immediately. "It's the primary protection against Dementors and Lethifolds, for which there is no other defence."

"Right you are, Mr Lupin," Professor Astrid said, snapping her fingers at him. "One point to Gryffindor for you, and a point to the house of whoever can tell me what a Patronus looks like?" She scanned the room again, spotting that Holly's hand was raised. "Off you go, Miss Hartwell."

Holly cleared her throat. "It has two forms - corporeal and incorporeal. An incorporeal Patronus will usually appear as a cloud or wall made of silver mist, acting as a barrier between the caster and the attacker, but it's not as effective. A corporeal Patronus takes the form of an animal, and is unique to the wizard or witch casting the spell."

"Right again. A point to Ravenclaw for you." Professor Astrid smiled at Holly briefly before addressing the class again. "Now, the Patronus Charm is highly advanced magic, actually beyond N.E.W.T. level, but you're all very capable students. That being said, I'm not expecting anyone to be able to cast either form of Patronus on their first try, and neither should any of you. It takes an enormous amount of concentration - " She paused suddenly, and drew her wand. Her eyes narrowed, fixing on a desk at the back of the room, where Travers and another Slytherin were whispering to each other, making no secret of the fact that they weren't paying attention " - something that I believe some of you to be severely lacking!" Astrid jabbed her wand at the air and a dart flew out of the tip, speeding across the room and slamming into the back wall between the two Slytherins' heads. They both sat bolt upright in shock. "Am I interrupting, gentlemen?" she said sweetly. "No? Oh, good."

Holly couldn't help it - she looked back at Travers and openly showed him she was laughing at his expense. It felt good when he clenched his teeth and glared furiously back at her.

Professor Astrid moved now to the blackboard, waving her wand. While she spoke, her words appeared on the board in elegant curlicue script. "As I was saying, for this lesson we'll just be looking at the theory behind the Patronus charm. The spoken words, how it is used, and what you need in order to use it successfully." As she wrote on the board, every student, including Travers and his friend, started copying the notes down. "Like Mr Lupin said, the Patronus is a force of positivity, and so in order to be successful the caster must be able to think of a powerful happy memory. They will need to hold on to that memory, and use that happiness as a source of energy, channelling it into the spell. If the memory is not strong enough, you'll either end up with an incorporeal Patronus or nothing at all."

There was a rustle at the back of the room as Callista's hand shot into the air. Professor Astrid glanced at her. "Yes, Miss Thornton?"

Callista sat up a little bit straighter before she spoke. "I was just wondering, Professor. What happy memory do you use?"

Astrid raised an eyebrow. "That's a bit of a personal question, Miss Thornton, so I hope you don't mind if I choose not to answer. I will say, however, that I have used a different happy memory for each time I've cast the Patronus Charm in my life. People change as time goes on, so it's natural for your memories, and even the form of your Patronus, to change too as you take in more life experiences. As long as the memory is strong enough, it will work for you - just like this." She stepped onto the raised dais next to the blackboard and lifted her wand, aiming it towards the ceiling. " _Expecto Patronum_!"

In a blast of light, a bright shape erupted from the end of the wand and flew into the air; as it descended, its form solidified into a glorious silver falcon, its keen cry mingling with the impressed reactions of the class as it circled over their heads. Professor Astrid stuck out her arm and the falcon flew towards her, landing on her outstretched fist and surveying the students. With a final screech, it spread its wings and faded away. "There. That should make the prospect of learning the magical theory a bit more exciting." Smiling, Astrid turned back to the blackboard and continued to make notes for the class to copy.

When the bell rang half an hour later, it was with some regret that everybody got up to leave. Professor Astrid stood up from behind her desk and called out over the noise of squeaking chairs and shuffling feet, "Homework! Think of three happy memories that you believe would be strong enough to enable you to cast a Patronus. In tomorrow's lesson I will be pairing you up and you'll start to actively practise. Please make sure that you're well prepared!"

Walking from the classroom with Callista, Holly wondered idly who she'd be paired up with. She hoped it was someone she liked.

* * *

Holly sat in the common room at her favourite desk, working on one of the many essays she'd been given. An enormous book she'd lugged up from the library sat open before her, filled with scraps of parchment marking out passages she needed. Her hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail, with curls still sticking out all over the place, and her chin and hands were covered with smudges of ink that she hadn't noticed. She was in the zone, so to speak; deeply focused on her work, the words flowing easily from the tip of her quill as if they'd been stored in the ink, simply waiting to be released. Classes were done for the day, and there were a couple of hours left until the Halloween Feast. The Ravenclaw common room was full of other students, but she paid attention to none of them, until she registered someone calling her name.

"Hey! Hartwell! Isn't that your owl?"

She turned around to the speaker, a boy with scruffy blonde hair, who pointed at the window where Cosmo was indeed tapping on the glass with his beak, looking disgruntled. Holly opened the window and he flew in, perched on the enormous book, and started preening himself. "Fine, ignore me, then," Holly muttered, picking up the letter Cosmo had dropped on top of her essay. She recognised the handwriting immediately and let out a sigh.

 _Dear Holly,_

 _I hope this finds you well. I appreciate keeping me informed of your progress at_ _Hogwarts, and I hope you will continue to maintain this standard throughout the year._

 _I will be available in the second weekend of November, and I would like to meet with you. There are a few things we need to discuss. I understand that you don't have_ _classes on Saturdays, so I suggest that we meet in Hogsmeade, perhaps over lunch._ _Please let me know if you are available on either day, and I will inform the Headmaster of my wishes. I would appreciate it if you would let me know as soon as possible._

 _Regards,_

 _Camellia_

"Not even _kind_ regards." Holly folded the letter back up and threw it on the desk, startling Cosmo. She scratched the top of the owl's head and shooed him out the window, then immediately closed her book and gathered her work together. The moment was gone - she had no desire to write her essay now. It had been quite an interesting one, too, all about the transitional definitions of Ancient Runes across the centuries.

At least, she thought it was interesting.

She stared out of the window, feeling thoroughly deflated. Camellia had always had the uncanny ability to do that to her, and it had only gotten progressively worse when she'd been appointed Holly's official legal guardian after their father had passed away. Her sister was simply a born control-freak, filled with stereotypical Pureblood thinking - though where she'd gotten that from Holly had no idea - and she saw the world in a very particular way. The fact that Holly might have a different worldview simply hadn't occurred to her, despite the numerous arguments they'd had on the subject. They always argued, sometimes physically, their passionate Italian sides clashing horribly and more often than not resulting in one of them being in tears. It had been worse when they'd both been at school, with Camellia inventing ridiculous standards and being angry when Holly hadn't met them, and it was only slightly easier now that she was only an owl away. Holly had just managed to make a place for herself at Hogwarts, and now Camellia was invading that too. She stared outside, wondering worriedly what her sister considered to be 'a few things' they needed to talk about.

The sun was starting to set outside - the sky was streaked with pinks, purples, oranges and yellows, beams of dusky sunlight spreading across the grounds, and Holly was filled with the desire to go for a walk and clear her head. She knew it was the night of the Halloween feast, and if the decorations she'd spotted earlier in the day were anything to go by it was going to be spectacular, but now she really wasn't in the mood. A walk in the fresh air, and maybe some Patronus practise ahead of the class the next day - she'd been eager to try the spell since the lesson that morning, but hadn't yet had the chance - would be sure to cheer her up.

Having made a decision, she gathered up her things and climbed the many stairs up to the dormitory, dumping everything on her bed. She pulled on her warm winter cloak and scarf, checked that her wand was safely stowed and make her way back down. The common room was filling up now, but she didn't see anyone she knew well and continued on her way.

As soon as she took her first breath of fresh air, Holly felt better. All the walking and stair-climbing that a day of classes at Hogwarts involved made it very easy to forget that you spent most of the time indoors. She pulled her cloak a bit further round her shoulders and started to walk down to the lake, humming a song she'd once heard by a Muggle band called Mott the Hoople. She waved at a few other seventh-years that were also taking advantage of the lovely evening, but didn't speak to anyone.

Right. Happy memories. Taking another deep breath, Holly began to walk the gravel path surrounding the lake, thinking about what could be powerful enough to help her conjure a Patronus. She had very few memories of her mother, so that was ruled out straight away. Holly had spent the majority of her childhood and adolescence at school, so when her mother had succumbed to dragon pox when she was thirteen years old, it wasn't like losing a mother should have been. It was sad, but Fabiana Hartwell had never been a very motherly woman, and seemed to behave as if she wasn't entirely aware that she had two children.

Holly's mind briefly turned to Camellia, but all that occurred were bad memories, of arguments and screaming and yelling and sometimes slapping. She shook her head.

That left her father. Aloysius Hartwell, travelling cursebreaker for wizarding banks across Europe. Barely at home, like his two daughters, but when they coincided he always had tales of his travels, interesting trinkets, and hugs that could block out the world as long as you were in his arms. Holly had adored her father, and while it had been two years since he'd passed away it still ached to think about him. She felt a lump in her throat as she recalled the last time she'd seen him, before the news had reached them of him being struck down by a powerful and undetectable necrotic curse, far away in another country where they couldn't say goodbye.

" _Come in, Holly," her father said. He was sat at his desk, paper spread over every available surface as he collated his notes from the latest excursion into a report. "I know you're there." He turned around and smiled at her, beckoning her to enter the study._

 _When she came in and stood next to the desk, he looked her up and down and sighed sadly. "Look at you, all grown up. I've missed so much." He sighed again and took her hand. "I'm sorry."_

 _Holly shook her head at him. "Papa, enough. Camellia and I, we understand, you have to go away. I cannot count the number of letters we have sent each other - you have not missed as much as you think." She moved some papers out of the way and sat on the edge of the desk, then took hold of her father's hand. "Now come, be happy and tell me of your exploits. You tell the best stories of anyone I know."_

And he had, and they had talked and laughed together, about so much more than just his latest trip. They'd talked about everything Holly was doing at school, how much they'd missed each other - and the everyday, inconsequential things, like the weather and Cosmo and how well they were sleeping. The stupid little things that you didn't think of talking about, until the person you wanted to talk to wasn't there anymore.

The two of them had always been close, closer than Holly was to anyone else in the family, and as she thought back on their final encounter her heart ached with the pain of how much she'd lost, love for the man he'd been, pride for everything he'd done and joy that she'd had such a wonderful man as her father - a strange but potent mix. Her eyes brimmed with happy tears, and before she lost her nerve, she pulled out her wand and aimed it across the water.

" _Expecto patronum!"_

Her wand erupted with silver light that reflected in the wind-ruffled lake below. The cloud ebbed and flowed like oil in water, but at the same time like it was contained within a bubble, shifting and swirling in and out of itself. It was almost opaque, and while the Patronus wasn't corporeal - it was only Holly's first try, after all - the innate sense of happiness and positivity emanating from the cloud was a powerful force. She kept it there, hovering above the water, for ten long seconds before she had to lower her wand and sit down on the path, breathing heavily from the exertion of the new spell.

Despite the tiredness, she felt better, like some of the tension had left her shoulders. She stood up and brushed her cloak down, then stowed her wand away.

" _Grazie_ , Papa," she whispered to the empty air, before turning and heading back up to the castle in the darkening twilight.


	7. An Invitation

**Disclaimer: The wonderful wizarding world of Harry Potter does not belong to me.**

* * *

It took Holly a lot longer to get back up to the castle than it had to get down to the grounds - her attempt at casting a Patronus had drained her more than she'd expected. Still, she was pleased with her initial result, and she couldn't wait to give it another go in class with Professor Astrid.

Her footsteps echoed in the empty Entrance Hall when she got back inside; most of the students were attending the Halloween feast. Even as she stood there deciding where to go that wasn't that Great Hall, her mind returned to her sister's letter and what it could possibly mean. She sighed angrily, hating that it was still making her feel this way. She briefly debated heading to the library as a distraction, but she'd have to go all the way up to Ravenclaw tower to get her books then come back down, and she was already quite tired. Maybe just going up to the common room was the plan. Aggravated now, and worn out, she started to climb the staircase, taking off her scarf and wrapping it up into a bundle as she did so.

Halfway up the stairs, her stomach grumbled loudly, and someone behind her laughed. She recognised the sound, and turned to see Remus climbing the stairs, with Sirius and Peter a little way behind him. James was trailing - she could see him in the doorway of the Great Hall chatting to Lily, periodically running a hand through his hair. Lily was clearly trying to put up a dismissive front, but her eyes never left James's face. Holly rolled her eyes and shook her head briefly.

Remus had reached her by then, and gave her a tired smile. "Didn't see you at the feast," he said by way of greeting. "Sounds like you should have eaten something."

Holly shrugged in a very Italian way. "I wasn't in the mood for celebrating anything. I got...I went down to the lake instead." Her stomach growled again, and she blushed. With a knowing smile, Remus pulled a small bar of chocolate out of his pocket and handed it to her. "You know, Sirius told me you always have some chocolate with you, and I didn't believe him," she said, tucking the bar away inside her robes.

"It has a variety of uses," he said. He sounded exhausted, as if climbing the stairs had taken most of his energy, and when Holly took a closer look at him she could see dark shadows under his eyes. Despite the big meal he'd had at the feast, his face had a decidedly gaunt look, and she felt a stab of sympathy for him. Whatever mystery illness that he'd caught had really taken it out of him. Seconds later, she realised she was staring, and she quickly looked away. He chuckled. "So where are you off to?" he asked, steering the conversation towards a safer topic as it was fairly obvious they were both holding something back.

"I'm just going up to the common room," Holly replied, and she continued climbing. Remus accompanied her more slowly, his long legs taking two steps for every one of hers. "I want to have a relaxing night - I tried out a Patronus charm just now and honestly, it's really taken it out of me."

"Really?" Remus's eyebrows lifted in interest. "How did it go? Did you get any result at all?"

"I made a...cloud? It wasn't anything recognisable, but I held it there for about ten seconds."

"That's impressive," Remus said admiringly. He gave her another one of his small smiles, and she returned it. She really did like Remus - he was nice, kind, and reasonably sensible compared to his more over-the-top friends.

Out of nowhere, Sirius suddenly made an appearance by leaping up the last two steps behind Remus and wrapping his arms around his shoulders. James had followed, managing to tear himself away from Lily at last, and Peter popped up too, in his own surprisingly quiet way.

"Alright, Holly?" Sirius asked exuberantly, detaching himself from his long-suffering friend and leaning against the banister instead. "What are you two going on about?"

"Holly was just telling me how she tried to cast a Patronus," Remus said, brushing himself down. "She did really well for a first try."

"Of course she did, she's a Ravenclaw. All that blonde hair is just a clever disguise." Sirius winked at her.

Holly rolled her eyes at him and flicked her hair. "Thank you _so_ much." Having reached the top of the stairs, she turned to head off up Ravenclaw Tower. Several other students had come out of the Great Hall now, and were making their way up towards their little group. She spotted Allison and Elena walking together, and thought she might join them. She stifled a yawn and gave the boys a wan smile. "I'll see you all tomorrow sometime. _Buona notte_."

"Wait," Sirius said loudly, then coughed and cleared his throat. "Uh, hang on. You shouldn't...well, look. We were going down to the Quidditch pitch for a bit. James needs to practise, so I said I'd help, and we've been stuck inside all day. Do you want to come?" He trailed off towards the end of the speech, looking uncharacteristically embarrassed.

There was a moment of silence between them - Holly had no idea what to say. She really was tired, but she did quite enjoy watching Quidditch. After the up-and-down evening she'd had, it might be nice to just have a bit of fun, and Sirius obviously wanted her there. "Um...do I need to bring anything?"

"Not unless you have a broom and you want to give me a hand," James said amiably.

Holly immediately shook her head. "Oh, no. I don't like to fly. But I'll watch, and cheer for you, if you're any good."

He looked shocked, then grinned. "I'm brilliant."

"Peter and I'll just be watching too, so we can wait here while these two get their brooms," Remus offered. "Don't take too long lads, and grab my scarf, would you?"

* * *

On the walk down to the Quidditch pitch, as she carefully picked her way down the steps by the light of the lamps, Holly was deep in thought. Her brow was furrowed like it always was when she was trying to figure something out that was eluding her; only this time, instead of an academic problem, it was Sirius.

 _Why did he invite me?_ She could see him up ahead, walking side-by-side with James, the two of them almost identical from the back. They both had that messy black hair, the swagger, the long legs and loping gait. They even carried their broomsticks over the same shoulder. It was no wonder she'd first thought they were brothers. She found herself focusing more on Sirius's legs than anything else, and mentally gave herself a shake. _Basta_ , she thought. _You're imagining things. You're friends, and he was just being nice._ This was the most likely explanation; every time they'd interacted outside of classes - which granted hadn't been that often, but it was a busy year for all of them - he had always been able to guess her mood, like a pet that cuddles up with you because it can tell you're sad. She'd been tired and emotionally drained, and he had invited her down to the pitch to cheer her up.

"You're being very quiet," Remus commented suddenly, breaking into her thoughts.

She looked up, and shrugged. "I was thinking."

"You were staring." His sidelong glance was equal parts amused and accusatory, and he nodded in the direction of James and Sirius up ahead.

Holly sighed. "I was just _thinking_ ," she said again, "about why Sirius invited me down here with you boys. Then I realised I was reading too far into it and I should let it go."

Remus raised his eyebrows. "Isn't it obvious? He likes you."

"Well, yes. I like him too. We're friends."

"No, he really likes you. You're the only girl in our year he doesn't flirt with," Peter chimed in, having caught up and fallen into step with them.

Holly stared down at him with one eyebrow arched. "He flirts with me. He winks at me all the time."

The boys both burst out laughing. "If that's how you think Sirius Black flirts, you've been severely underestimating him," Remus said with a grin. "He flirts with _everyone_ ; he smacked me on the arse and asked me out to dinner the first time he saw me wearing dress robes. It's basically how he communicates. But not with you."

They had arrived at the pitch by then, and the three of them walked up into the stands while James and Sirius got ready on the pitch. Sirius picked up the Muggle football they'd brought down with them, mounted his broom and kicked off the ground, hovering about ten feet above James's head. "Come on then, Potter!" he called out. "Show me why you're the captain!"

James laughed, mounted his own broom, and they were off. Holly could hardly take her eyes off the two graceful figures darting across the sky, weaving this way and that, almost colliding then arcing away from each other at the last second. It was a clear night, and while it had already gone dark a few hours ago, the pitch was illuminated by the golden glow of the magical lamps that hung at regular intervals all the way around, so Holly had a perfect view of the practise. James was a Chaser, she knew from Callista, and Sirius had been tasked with keeping the football away from him for as long as possible. They were both excellent flyers, and Sirius wasn't making it easy, so when the first battle between them was finally won and James did a victory lap of the pitch with the football held aloft, she cheered loudly along with the others. They tried again a few more times, until the wind picked up and they couldn't throw the ball between them without it veering wildly off course. Even bundled up in her scarf and cloak, Holly could still feel the chill of the October night, and she was grateful when the boys called it a day and came back down to earth.

While James, Remus and Peter went on ahead, she lingered behind, waiting for Sirius to come off the pitch. He looked surprised to see her standing on the edge of the grass, her wand lit with _Lumos_ so her windswept blonde hair shone in the darkness. "Are you okay? Did you have a good time?" he asked as he approached, pushing his hair back off his flushed pink face.

Holly nodded. "I did; I wanted to thank you. It was just what I needed."

Sirius beamed at her. "Glad to hear it. You looked like you could do with cheering up. Want to tell me what happened?" He swung his broomstick up over his shoulder again and they began walking, Holly's wand lighting the way along with the lampposts.

"Well, the Patronus wore me out," Holly began, then paused when she caught Sirius's _you're-avoiding-the-question_ look. She sighed. "I received a letter from my sister. She wants to come and see me next month because we have 'a few things we need to discuss'."

"This is the sister that was such a bitch to you at the start of the year?" Sirius asked, his grey eyes suddenly stormy.

She nodded ruefully. "I mean, I know she's my only family now, but I hate spending time with her. All she does is criticise me. I'm only at Hogwarts because she got a job at the Ministry, and if I'd stayed at _L'Accademia_ I would have been too far away for her to have control over me. God knows what she wants now." They'd reached the top of the steps now, sheltered by an archway, and Holly stopped walking and turned away from him. She felt like she might start crying, even though she was more angry than sad. All the good feelings that had come from watching the boys play Quidditch had quickly evaporated.

"Hey, what did I do?" Sirius reached out and gently turned Holly back around so he could see her face. "Did I say something wrong? You were happy again a minute ago."

"I'm sorry." She wiped her eyes fiercely, cursing herself in Italian. "I just hate how she makes me feel. She's always judged me for everything and I thought that I could start living my own life without her now, but she's still there, in the background, watching. No matter what I do, I cannot forget that! I try to distract myself with a nice walk, practising spells, Quidditch, time with friends...no matter what I do I cannot forget. She is hundreds of miles away, but one letter from her and she is in my head again. I _hate it_!"

She suddenly slammed her hand against the archway in frustration; Sirius immediately grabbed it with his own. She looked up at him, and saw the concern on his face, and suddenly she didn't care. She didn't care if he'd only invited her to the pitch so he could cheer her up, or if he actually fancied her, or if he was just happy to be friends. She stepped forwards, and instinctively he dropped his broomstick and opened his arms, pulling her carefully against him. They stood like that for a while, their arms wrapped around each other. "I'm sorry," Holly said again. "I shouldn't...it's nothing to do with you. You don't need this." She tried to pull away from the hug, but Sirius held on.

"Don't apologise, Hols; you're my friend. You tell me as much or as little as you like, and I'll listen." She was leaning against his chest; he was lovely and warm, and she could hear his heartbeat and his low voice rumbling as he spoke. "I'm no stranger to family shit anyway."

"Which is exactly why you don't need to hear about mine as well," Holly mumbled apologetically.

"No, that's exactly why I _do_." Sirius lifted one hand up and started stroking her hair, almost as if he didn't realise he was doing it. "I know how hard it is. You don't ever need to bottle things up around me because you think I've got enough to worry about on my own. I'll be the judge of that, thanks."

Holly had the grace to look sheepish. "Sorry, I - "

"Stop apologising!" Sirius cried exasperatedly, and he laughed. "It's not a problem for me. Look, I know we haven't spent that much time together really, but I like you, and if you just need someone to moan at without any judgement then I'm your man. Who knows - maybe I could help you with some of it. Stop bottling it all up because you're worried what your new friends will think of you if you tell them stuff. I used to do the same thing, and let me tell you, it won't help."

"How do you do that?" She was staring up at him now, their proximity emphasising their height difference even if it was only a couple of inches, so close that she could see the stubble along his jaw and the silver earring peeking out from within his hair. For a second, she wondered if she might kiss him, and what it might be like, but then dismissed the idea. She wasn't thinking straight. "You already know me so well, and you always know what to say. I don't understand you sometimes."

"I have very good instincts." He let his arms drop and bent down to pick up his broom; she felt strangely bereft without their comforting presence. That is, until he took her hand. "Come on, you. It's late, and you need to sleep. You'll feel better in the morning."


	8. The Unexpected Patronus

**Disclaimer: The wonderful wizarding world of Harry Potter does not belong to me.**

* * *

Holly wasn't sure how much she slept that night; when she woke suddenly the next morning, much earlier than the rest of the girls in the dorm, it felt like she hadn't gotten any rest at all. Somewhere on the edge of her mind was a pleasant dream, but she couldn't reach out and grasp what it was. As she lay there for a few minutes, staring up at the twinkling stars, her thoughts turned to Sirius.

There was no denying it. He was in her head - much like her sister's lingering presence, except this was one she could enjoy. He had been very sweet to her after their heart-to-heart the previous evening, walking her up to the castle in the lamplight, then as far up the stairs as he could go before they had to part and head for their respective towers. Along the way, he'd kept her entertained, just as he had on the Hogwarts Express back in September. They were getting to know each other better and better every time they met, and he always seemed to take it upon himself to cheer her up if she was ever upset around him. He was nice, funny, handsome, and caring; it was time for her to admit to herself that she was attracted to him.

Whether he felt the same about her wasn't an issue. She wasn't pining after him; she just fancied him a bit. If he never reciprocated her feelings then it wouldn't be the end of the world, and she would be able to move on. She was still only seventeen, after all, and it was just a schoolyard crush. Nothing to lose her head over.

With a small smile on her face, she sat up in bed and swung her legs over the side of the mattress. She opened the curtains onto the cosy dormitory - the house elves had visited during the night, folding up everyone's discarded clothes into neat piles at the ends of their respective beds, and lighting a fire in the grate so the room was warm by the time they were all awake. Shoving her feet into her slippers, she got up and drifted over to the window, where the sky was still dark but the sun was starting to rise in the east. What she could see of the grounds was dusted with sparkling frost, and she wondered if a cold snap was on the way. Maybe it would snow early this year.

Over to the right of the window she could see the Owlery, and just about make out the shapes of a few owls flitting in and out of the tower. She suddenly realised that she'd never replied to Camellia's letter the day before. Much as she didn't want to, she knew that if the first one went unanswered then her sister would just keep sending her letters until she got a response. Reluctantly she tore herself away from looking at the view and grabbed a spare piece of parchment off her bedside table, scribbling a reply in the affirmative then sealing the note with the new wax and stamp she'd bought. Was there enough time to get to the Owlery and back in time for breakfast? She glanced at the large clock on the mantelpiece above the flickering fire - she really was up much earlier than usual, and there was plenty of time even if she walked slowly. She got dressed carefully in a grey skirt and tights, white blouse, and black jumper with blue trim, fastened her tie around her neck, then brushed her hair back into a low ponytail so the curls were under some semblance of control. Once again putting on her warm cloak and stowing her wand, she discovered the chocolate bar Remus had given her in the inside pocket, and started to eat it while she walked down the stairs.

There was nobody around when she came out of the Ravenclaw common room onto the stairs. She descended in silence, chewing her chocolate, until she was greeted with the piercing orange gaze of Filch's cat, Mrs Norris. It stared at her unblinkingly, then meowed in an accusatory tone.

"Oh, go catch mice, you horrible thing," Holly said, shooing the cat away. It didn't move, just meowed again, Holly flapped her hands at it. "I'm not doing anything wrong. Stop looking at me like that."

If Mrs Norris's eyebrows had been discernable, then Holly felt sure the cat would have raised them. As it was, she decided against talking to the mangy thing any longer and turned her back on it. Mrs Norris gave another piercing yowl, but thankfully didn't follow. Holly made her way out into the frosty morning, crunching over the grass with her bag banging against her hip, and carefully climbed up the Owlery's slippery staircase.

Inside, the air was warm and filled with the rustling of a thousand feathers, and floor was a lot cleaner than she'd expected it to be - she supposed that Filch was tasked with that job. She didn't envy him. Gazing up into the rafters, which were filled with owls that either ignored her or stared down at her unblinkingly, she called out softly. "Cosmo? _Stai qui_?"

There was a loud rustling from way up at the top of the tower, and Cosmo suddenly appeared, gliding down amid his feathered friends to land gracefully on Holly's shoulder. She scratched his head affectionately. "Hello, _caro_. Could you please take this to Cammy for me? You know she doesn't like to be kept waiting." Cosmo hooted indignantly in response, and Holly smiled. "Yes, okay, you can have treats first." She rummaged in her bag and pulled out a small pouch of owl treats that she always carried, tipping some into her hand for Cosmo to eat. When he was satisfied, she gave him the letter and he clasped it in his sharp beak. "See you soon, _avido_."

She watched Cosmo flying away for a moment, then sighed and made her way back down the steps. As she crossed the grass back to the castle, she made a decision; it was a new month that day. She would not start it off by moping and feeling sorry for herself, even if interacting with her sister was never enjoyable. She wanted to think about good things, like the tasty breakfast she planned to have, a double Defence Against the Dark Arts lesson that promised to be really interesting...she stopped walking. _Merde!_ she thought. She'd forgotten to think of three happy memories for Professor Astrid's class that morning; she'd been so caught up in her own Patronus practice, everything with Camellia, Quidditch, and then Sirius. With her customary 'thinking' frown on her face, she put her mind to rummaging through her memories for three happy things, and was still at it when she sat down at the Ravenclaw table in the Great Hall for breakfast.

After filling her plate with fresh fruit and pastries and pouring herself a cup of strong black coffee, she chewed thoughtfully on a croissant while contemplating the memories she could use. Obviously, what she'd used last night to cast her incorporeal Patronus would work well, and she wouldn't have to worry about the feelings lessening over time. She would always remember her father fondly. Maybe she could use three different memories of him - nobody had said they had to all be completely different. That would certainly make things a bit easier.

* * *

Later, as she entered Professor Astrid's classroom, she finally had three memories to work with, with a range of possible success. She reassured herself that it wasn't like anybody was expecting her to make a full corporeal Patronus, even though she really liked the idea; this was just practice. There wasn't even a threat to cast the spell against. Feeling better, she made her way to stand by the window. Astrid had removed the desks from the room, so there was plenty of space for everyone to pair up and practise their spellcasting. Setting her bag down on the floor, Holly pulled out her wand, finally shrugged off the cloak she'd entirely forgotten she was wearing, and rolled up her sleeves. From where she stood, she was in a good position to see the rest of the students as they wandered in.

When Callista entered the room, she immediately made a beeline for Holly. "You've been avoiding me," she said accusingly, crossing her arms.

"Hello to you too, and no I haven't," Holly reassured her. "I've been busy, that's all."

"Really?" Callista raised her eyebrows. "You weren't at the feast last night, and it was really late when you got back to the dorm. Then this morning you're up before anyone else and you didn't sit with anybody at breakfast. What on earth have you been so busy with?"

Before Holly could answer, Sirius came in with his three friends, and waved at her. She felt her face turning a traitorous shade of pink. Callista followed her gaze and her eyes widened, but before she could ask any questions Professor Astrid came out of her office and swept down the stairs to the classroom floor in a swirl of royal blue robes, her long silver hair twisted into an elegant knot. She strode into the centre of the room so she was surrounded on all sides by her students. As usual, her keen gaze circled the room to check everyone was present before she began.

"Good morning, everyone. I hope you've all prepared yourself for the coming lesson - it'll be a tough one today. As I've got two hours with you, we'll have time for a short break in the middle so you can get your breath back, but most of this time will be spent practising in pairs as discussed." She pulled a short roll of parchment seemingly out of nowhere and unfurled it briskly. "Let's jump right in, shall we? Miss Atterton, you'll be paired with Miss Yatton. Miss Bathgate, with Mr Warrington…"

She went down the list quickly - Holly was slightly surprised to be paired up with James Potter. He made his way over to her and shook her hand formally. "Miss Hartwell, delighted to be your partner today."

"Why thank you, Mr Potter." Holly gave him a quick curtsey. Across the room, she could see Callista paired up with a Hufflepuff boy she couldn't remember the name of, and she was glad they hadn't been stuck together; Callista would have just badgered her with questions and assumptions about her and Sirius.

"Are you ready?" James asked, seeing that her attention was wandering.

"Yes, sorry. Shall I go first?" They stepped away from the wall and found themselves a space amongst their classmates. James nodded and made a _'go-ahead'_ gesture, so Holly took a deep breath and brought a memory of her father to the forefront of her mind.

 _She was very young - not even old enough for her first tutor - and her magical abilities had only just begun to manifest. She was out in the garden of their first house, with her father, who was encouraging her to try and see what she could do. It was a lovely sunny day, and a bright orange butterfly was flitting around above a nearby flower bed. When it took off into the sky, Holly found herself wishing she could join it; it looked like it was having a lot of fun. No sooner had the thought crossed her mind than she felt herself becoming lighter. Her feet lifted off the ground and her toes brushed the grass - she was floating!_

With her father's laughter in her head and a feeling of joyful surprise in her heart, Holly raised her wand and pointed it towards the ceiling. " _Expecto patronum!_ " she cried, watching delightedly as another burst of bright silver light shot out of the end of her wand, forming a cloud that hovered above her head. It was easier to hold it in place this time, and she managed a full thirty seconds before ending the spell. James applauded her.

"That was brilliant!" he said, grinning widely. "I mean, I know Remus said you'd done it last night, but that was really, really cool."

Holly smiled up at him, pushing a few loose curls off her face as she did so. " _Grazie_. Your turn now."

The first hour of their lesson passed in a whirl of different voices shouting the same incantation over and over, with varying degrees of success. James managed an incorporeal Patronus on his second try, and Holly noticed with some dismay that Travers did the same at one point too - she didn't want to consider what might be a happy memory for him.

The practice itself was quite tiring, and she was grateful when they were able to take a break, until she saw Callista heading over to her determinedly. "Quick, talk to me," she whispered to James. "If I look busy with you Callista might not want to bother me."

"What are you on about?" James whispered back, amused.

"She thinks you're gorgeous and you intimidate her, sort of. So talk to me and she won't interrupt," Holly hissed.

"We're already talking," he replied. "Why don't you want her over here?"

Holly rolled her eyes. "Because she will only want to ask me questions about what is going on between me and Sirius, and when I say there is nothing to tell, she will make it up."

With his considerable height advantage, it was easy for James to look down his nose at her skeptically. " _Is_ there anything going on between you and Sirius?" He sounded like a curious parent.

"No!" Holly insisted. "I mean...I think he's attractive, yes. But he is just nice to me, and we are just friends, that's all." Looking at her tall friend's face, she could tell he didn't really believe her, and was glad when he decided not to pursue it and moved the conversation onto something else.

Soon, the break was over, and they started practising again. Two of Holly's happy memories worked really well, but she was having trouble with the third one - perhaps it was because her sister was in it, putting a dampener on proceedings as usual. Towards the end of the lesson, when her fourth try with that memory resulted in nothing but a brief spurt of silver mist, she groaned in frustration.

"What's wrong?" James asked, wiping a few beads of sweat off his forehead. Despite the coldness of the classroom, the exertion was getting to him, and he'd abandoned his own jumper a while ago. Everyone was flagging now, with only a few committed students still trying to cast the spell.

Holly sighed. "I know that a full Patronus wasn't expected of any of us today. It's just…a small part of me wanted me to be the one to do it." She pulled a face, realising that she sounded a bit petty.

James just laughed. "From what I've seen, if anyone was going to do it, it would be you. It's no wonder you were put in Ravenclaw." He ran his free hand through his hair, making it even messier than usual. "Look, I'm worn out so I won't bother, but do you wanna give it one more go? See if you can manage it?"

Holly hesitated. She was tired too, but she really wanted to see if she could actually do it; it would be something to tell her sister at least. A full, corporeal Patronus...but she already knew that none of her memories were really strong enough, and she didn't have time to try and think of anything else before the lesson was over. Biting her lip, she glanced at the clock on the wall to confirm her suspicions - and on the way, her eyes fell on Sirius, who had been paired up with Peter on the other side of the room. They were both sat on the floor, worn out from practising, and it turned out that Sirius Black with messy hair and a flushed face, leaning back against the classroom wall and twirling his wand in his fingers, was a very pretty sight indeed.

Holly felt herself smiling, and suddenly her head was full of brief moments they'd had together; in the carriage on the Hogwarts Express, him telling a story about a motorbike and the Muggle police; protecting her from Travers and caring for her afterwards; saving her purse in Scrivenshaft's; sharing his Firewhisky with her; the two of them singing David Bowie and writing their essays together; him cheering her up with Quidditch; the short hug that had turned into both of them clinging together as if they didn't want to let go.

The memories only lasted for a few seconds, but together they filled her with something she'd never felt before. It was now or never; clearing her throat, she raised her wand once more and cast the spell.

Something felt different this time - she could tell almost as soon as the words left her lips. She felt something powerful surge down her arm, through her wand and out into the air, filling the whole room with blinding silver-white light, so bright she had to shield her eyes. When the glow subsided slightly, she could see a shimmering four-legged animal of some kind standing in front of her.

Around her, the room was humming with her classmates' exclamations, and over by the wall Sirius was staring at her with wide eyes, all the colour having drained from his face. Beside her, James had frozen mid hair-messing and couldn't take his eyes off her Patronus. In fact, now she actually looked around, she could see that Remus and Peter were staring too, at least more so than anyone else. She didn't quite understand why they were all so shocked, so she turned her attention to the animal instead, trying to figure out what it was after blinking a few times to clear the blur from her eyes.

Upon closer inspection, Holly's Patronus was a large, silver dog - that was a bit unexpected, but then she'd never actually considered which animal her Patronus would manifest as. It was huge, bigger than an Alsatian, with thick fur and pointed ears, and as she stared it suddenly turned and walked towards her to sit by her feet protectively. She looked down at it, and it lifted its head to meet her gaze with intelligent silver eyes. She smiled - this was _her_ Patronus. She'd done it.

More to the point, _Sirius_ had made her feel happy enough to cast it. Forget attraction; it was quite possible that she was in love with him.


	9. The Prospect of a Party

**Disclaimer: the wonderful wizarding world of Harry Potter does not belong to me.**

* * *

Arithmancy followed Defence Against The Dark Arts for Holly that day, and she was able to lose herself in her number charts without Sirius being in the room. There were a few students from the previous lesson that were chattering about her Patronus, she could tell, but she ignored them and focused on her work. None of them knew what she did anyway; that is, precisely _why_ her Patronus had suddenly been so strong.

By the time lunch rolled around, she was wishing she had more of a grasp on the situation. Yes, she apparently had much deeper feelings for Sirius than she had admitted to herself in bed that morning. Was she going to do anything with them? That she wasn't so sure about. She felt like if she told him what had happened, he might feel forced to reciprocate even if he didn't feel the same way, or try and let her down gently and then their friendship would never be the same afterwards. She cursed herself inwardly. _Idiota. Why did I have to fall for him? Why couldn't we have just been friends?_

Once again, she spent the meal wrapped up in her own thoughts, picking at her food and barely taking part in the conversation the rest of the Ravenclaw girls were having. Eventually, after Holly's fourth or fifth disinterested "hmm", Callista smacked her lightly on the arm. "Holly! What is going on with you? You've barely said a word, and the girls want to know about what happened this morning."

Holly looked around at their little group, seeing the expectant, curious faces of her friends, and she suddenly really didn't want to talk to any of them. She liked these girls, but they all had a tendency to ask too many questions and she was already asking herself enough as it was. "I'm sorry," she said, pushing her plate away and standing up, "I have to be somewhere." She walked quickly away from the table and towards the door, ignoring Callista calling after her.

As soon as she'd left the Great Hall and heard the door shut behind her, she felt awful. How could she be so rude? None of her friends had anything to do with what she was feeling - they might even be able to help her, and here she was making assumptions about how they'd react and pushing them away. It was incredibly selfish of her. She knew, however, that if she went back into the Great Hall now then they wouldn't acknowledge her presence at all, Callista especially. Unsure what to do, she stopped abruptly in the hall and let out a loud sigh, freeing her hair from its ponytail and letting it fall over her shoulders.

It was then that she realised several other students and a couple of teachers she didn't recognise were staring at her, given her dramatic exit. She blushed and ducked her head, then decided resolutely to go to the library. It had become something of a sanctuary for her over her first couple of months at Hogwarts; a place where she could go if she felt overwhelmed or snowed under with work, where she could take a moment in the silence to gather her thoughts and figure out how to continue. If there was ever a time when she needed that, it was right then - and she still had about forty minutes until Charms. Hurriedly, she set off up the stairs to the first floor.

The library was pretty much empty, except for the ever-present skulking figure of Madam Pince lurking between shelves. Holly decided on a desk in a small alcove by a window, and sat down with a heavy thud on the hard wooden chair. _You have to stop behaving like this,_ she thought, resting her elbows on the desk and her head in her hands. _So you might be in love. Fine. That's not an excuse to lose your head._ After all, it had only been that morning that she had reassured herself that it didn't matter if he didn't feel the same way about her, that she wasn't pining after him - but the events of Defence Against The Dark Arts had changed that. She couldn't deny her feelings for him, and part of her knew that if he turned around and rejected her it would hurt.

One thing was abundantly clear - she really didn't want her stupid feelings to jeopardise the friendship she had developed with Sirius. Of that, she was sure. He was kind, clever, and funny, not to mention brilliant at Transfiguration, and she knew that if she lost him as a friend because of a silly crush she would regret it for a very long time for these reasons and more. So, what was the solution?

 _Oddio_ … With a groan, she leaned back in her chair and stared at the alcove's ornate ceiling, across the surface of which tiny painted owls flew, carrying books and scrolls in their sharp claws. One of them looked vaguely like Cosmo, and she smiled slightly.

Maybe she was overthinking things - it certainly wouldn't be the first time. She was usually quite good at compartmentalising stuff in her head, and she could do that with the Sirius situation too. Her feelings for him were most certainly _not_ the end of the world, and she could handle it. They could stay friends, and she wouldn't allow herself to become giddy and ridiculous at the sight of him, especially if it might make him feel uncomfortable. She would be like some of the cats she often encountered wandering around the castle; friendly enough, but not about to give in completely to a few pats on the head. They'd only hugged so far, after all. Nothing serious. Even if they just went on as they were, she believed she would be happy with that.

She took a deep breath and got to her feet, gathering up her things and slipping out of the library unnoticed. She blended easily into the crowd of students making their way back up from lunch, and made it to the Charms corridor with time to spare. The seat next to Callista was empty, and Holly sat in it sheepishly. Callista gave her a contemptuous glance and a raised eyebrow, but said nothing.

"Sorry for...running off," Holly muttered as she got her books out of her bag. "I didn't mean to be so rude to all of you."

For a moment, Callista tried to give her the silent treatment, but she clearly had things she wanted to say. "What is going on with you lately?" she hissed. "You're all over the place. I never see you, you never talk, and you're always distracted - I mean, I know you're always thinking about _something,_ but you've never been rude with it before. I thought you were going to tell me earlier, but you clammed up again and then you didn't speak to me for the whole lesson. What _is_ it?"

Holly bit her lip and took a quick look around the room - _he_ was there, but sat on the other side with the others. They were all laughing about something, but she noticed that Sirius wasn't as enthusiastic as usual, like he had something on his mind too. She suddenly realised she was staring at him, and turned away quickly, so she didn't notice when he looked up and stared right back. Ducking her head, she leaned closer to Callista. "Can you keep a secret?"

"Yes," Callista answered immediately.

Holly looked at her sternly. "I mean it. This is _just_ between you and me. You can't tell any of the others, especially Dora." When Callista opened her mouth to protest, Holly held up a finger. " _I mean it._ Promise?"

Callista tutted and tossed her hair. "Fine. Tell me all."

"About Defence Against the Dark Arts, this morning…" Holly paused for a second before continuing. "I cast a full Patronus."

"Okay…" Callista raised one sculpted eyebrow. "I mean, well done, but I was there, I saw-"

"I'm not finished. I cast a full Patronus...using happy memories. Of Sirius. Nothing else was working, but I pictured him, smiling, and being nice to me, and cheering me up, and…I did it."

Callista's kohl-rimmed eyes popped wide open, and she grabbed Holly's arm and gave her a shake. "I knew it! Oh, Merlin, Holly!" she almost squealed, then dropped her voice again when Holly shushed her urgently. "Do you realise what that _means_?"

" _Purtroppo_ , yes. Like all the other girls in the castle, I have a crush on him. I may even have fallen in love with him, because I'm an idiot."

"Don't feel bad, it's pretty much unavoidable in this place," Callista said breezily, then grinned. "The important part is, what are you going to _do_? You have a huge advantage over all those other girls - you know him, you're _friends_ with him. Are you going to tell him? Do you think he might like you back?"

Holly shrugged, picking at the edge of her notebook with her fingernail while she thought. "I don't know...I thought I'd figured it out just now, and I could just ignore it and still be his friend and not make things all awkward between us. Now you're asking me again and I sort of want to give you a different answer, so maybe I _don't_ know how I'm feeling, I just...why are you laughing?" She frowned, not appreciating it.

"Because I've never seen you like this," Callista giggled, then arranged her face into a more serious expression. "Ahem. Sorry. Haven't you ever really liked anyone before?"

"Not really, no." Absently, Holly began plaiting some of her hair together. "I don't like how this is making me feel. I don't want to be silly and lovestruck and-"

"You are taking this far too seriously." At that moment, Professor Flitwick entered the classroom in a flurry of papers, robes trailing behind him as he clambered up on the stack of books arranged in front of his armchair so he could see around the room. While he busied himself organising his notes, Callista lowered her voice and whispered in Holly's ear. "Just loosen up a little, you know? Don't worry about it so much. He's a boy, you're a girl, I figure you're both grown-up enough to be sensible if something _does_ happen. Oh, and if it does, tell me everything. Immediately."

Professor Flitwick suddenly clapped his hands, drawing the attention of everyone in the room. "Good afternoon, class," he squeaked, smiling at them all behind his large moustache. "Today we'll begin working with the Protean Charm, based on the reading you should have done since our last lesson together." With a wave of his wand, a pile of small velvet pouches on the dais in front of him flew across the room, each one landing in front of a different student. Inside each pouch were five identical buttons.

"Your goal for this hour will be to successfully charm one of these buttons as the 'master button', if you will, so that any physical changes made to it, such as a change of size or colour, will also affect the rest of them. We will, of course, be working non-verbally. Off you go!" He clapped his hands again, the slowly climbed back down to the floor so he could wander between the desks if he wished. With another wave of his wand, faint orchestral music filled the air, adding some background noise so the class didn't have to work in complete silence.

Pushing other thoughts from her head, Holly picked up one of the buttons and drew out her wand. This would be something difficult, something to concentrate on so she could free her mind of anything else, for a little while. She always liked Charms class for that reason - Flitwick, a Ravenclaw himself, never patronised them by repeating the same work over and over, instead introducing them to things they'd never tackled before, to challenge them anew and broaden their experiences. She was never bored in Flitwick's lessons, and she liked that he had faith in their capabilities and intelligence.

She already knew, for example, that the Protean Charm was actually in two parts, somehow both enacted at once when you cast the spell; the first was to charm the objects as a group, so they would be linked, and the second was to choose the 'master' object that would be the one the others all responded to. It required a lot of concentration to cast, but the effects lasted for a very long time, perhaps indefinitely, or at least until you took the Charm off again.

Focusing on the button in front of her, she was about to say the incantation in her head when a note landed in front of her, skidding to a stop across the wooden desk. It was folded up to resemble a bird, and it flapped its papery wings impatiently until she picked it up to read. The inside was covered in elegant handwriting with an excess of loops and swirls, like the author (or authors, if the abundance of signatures at the bottom was anything to go by) had deliberately been trying to make it look fancy.

 _Dear Miss Hartwell,_ it read,

 _We will be putting on an evening soirée on Thursday the 3rd of November to commemorate the eighteenth birthday of our mutual friend, Sirius Orion Black. The celebrations will take place in the classroom opposite the portrait of Erasmus the Eloquent on the fifth floor (he has a funny pink hat on), beginning at the seventh hour. Refreshments will be supplied, though you are welcome to bring any of your own. We hope to see you there._

 _Yours sincerely,_

 _James Madeleine Potter, Remus Archibald Lupin, and Peter Susan Pettigrew_

Bemused, Holly looked across the classroom and caught James's eye, holding up the note in acknowledgment. He grinned and gave her a thumbs-up.

 _You coming?_ he mouthed silently.

Holly shrugged. _If you really want me there,_ she replied after a quick look around to check that Flitwick wasn't watching them.

 _Of course we do - you're our friend._ Glancing from side to side, James cupped his hands around his mouth so only Holly could see his lips move. _Besides, Sirius wants you there._

 _He does?_ Holly's eyes widened, but before she could ask any more questions Flitwick appeared, and she ducked her head, quickly sweeping the note off the desk and into her lap so he didn't spot it. When she raised her head again, James was looking the other way - towards Lily, in fact, who was pointedly ignoring him but couldn't help the pink blush creeping across her face. Rolling her eyes, Holly decided to get back to working on her Protean Charm - she could probably use the practise.

* * *

In the end, it took a long talk with Callista and some gentle-but-firm advice before Holly decided that yes, she would go to the party - the main points being _don't treat him any differently if you can help it_ and _don't make a fool of yourself._ She just wanted to have a good time with her friends, and she had, after all, been invited.

When Thursday morning dawned, cold and frosty, she woke up with an idea in her head for a cheap but amusing present which she hoped Sirius would appreciate. She scrambled out of bed and grabbed the nearest piece of parchment and a quill, managing to make a start on the gift before she absolutely had to put some clothes on and go down to breakfast or she'd be late. Throughout the day, when she had a spare moment, she would work on it some more, until she had filled the parchment with her neatest handwriting. Finally, back up in the dormitory after rounding off the day with Transfiguration, she rolled the parchment into a neat cylinder, tied it with some ribbon she found after a rummage through her trunk, and sealed it with wax.

Satisfied, she glanced up at the clock - it was only half past four. She had at least two hours before she needed to leave Ravenclaw Tower, if she wanted to allow herself some time to find her way to the fifth-floor classroom and not get lost. How could she kill the time? For once in her life, she flat-out didn't want to get started on any of her homework or reading; she would only end up either getting engrossed and losing track of time, or checking the clock every thirty seconds so she wasted her time and didn't get anything worthwhile done. Nobody else was in the dorm yet, otherwise she would have had someone to talk to. It was freezing outside, so she didn't particularly feel like going for a walk.

She absolutely, positively, was _not_ going to spend the next two hours getting all flustered and making up reasons not to go. Sirius was her friend; they were all her friends. It was going to be fun.

With that in mind, she picked up her wand and muttered a useful little spell she'd learned which heated up the end, then set about trying to tame her unruly hair. Yes, she was only going as a friend, it wasn't a date in any way, but there was no harm in making herself look a bit nicer now that she didn't have to rush (she'd barely managed to put together a cohesive outfit that morning, and her curls were all over the place). At least this time, Camellia wouldn't have any say in what she wore.


	10. Some Kind of Magic

**Disclaimer: the wonderful wizarding world of Harry Potter does not belong to me.**

* * *

When Holly arrived outside the fifth-floor classroom opposite Erasmus the Eloquent's portrait (he was indeed wearing a very strange pink hat, covered with tassels and small pieces of mirrored glass), tugging at the hem of her skirt so it fell straight, she could hear faint music coming from the other side of the door. Clutching her gift for Sirius in one hand, she raised the other and knocked much more loudly than intended.

The door was opened a few seconds later by Peter, who presented her with a shiny paper party hat on elastic. "Hello! Come in, come in!" he cried, more enthusiastic and talkative than she'd ever seen him. She followed him into the classroom and was greeted by the sight of Remus and Sirius lounging on chairs, James and Lily chatting by the window. Spread across three desks was an assortment of food and drink, 'liberated' from the kitchens, along with several bottles of Butterbeer - that would explain Peter's exuberant welcome. In one corner, a record player was belting out a song she didn't recognise. Candles were dotted around the room, their flames flickering slightly, some of them a bit too close to the decorations for comfort.

"Holly! You made it!" Lily called, waving at her. Smiling, Holly approached and kissed her quickly on both cheeks, then tucked the present under her arm and put the party hat at a jaunty angle over her curls. "You look lovely," Lily told her.

Holly smiled. "Thanks, _cara_. You too." She liked Lily's pretty green dress, though it was a bit too long for her taste, skimming her calves. James reached out his hand, and she shook it formally. " _Signore_ Potter, thank you so much for the invitation."

"My pleasure, Miss Hartwell, absolutely my pleasure," he said, grinning widely. "Help yourself to refreshments."

As if on cue, Peter appeared at Holly's elbow with an opened bottle of Butterbeer, offering it up. She placed her hand gently on the mouth of the bottle and shook her head. "Thanks, Peter, but-"

"She doesn't drink that stuff," came the sound of Sirius's voice, smoothed by Firewhisky and pleasure at the fact that he was the centre of attention that evening. Holly jumped; she hadn't heard him approach across the wooden floor. He was standing on her other side, offering her a glass of the warming amber liquid. "This is more to your taste, right?" he asked, looking at her over the rim of the glass with his silvery eyes.

Why did it feel like he was asking her about something other than drink preferences? Dismissing the thought, she took the glass from him and exchanged it for her present, tucking the roll of parchment into his open hand. "Happy birthday, Sirius."

Mystified, he broke the wax seal and unrolled the parchment, his eyes scanning the words within. A small frown crept over his brow. "What is this?" he asked.

"I didn't really know what to get you," she began, clutching the glass of Firewhisky tightly in her hand. "I noticed you swear a lot, and I don't like...what is it…'Merlin's pants', or whatever you say when you're annoyed? I thought it might be funny to give you this. It's a list of all the curse words I know, and all the languages I know them in. Phonetic spellings, too. You could, uh, broaden your vocabulary." Her accent was thickening with every word she said - she wished there wasn't such an obvious outward sign of when she was nervous.

There was a moment of silence, then Sirius burst out laughing, clapped her on the back and pulled her into a brief hug. "Holly, that's brilliant," he said. "Thank you." Without thinking, he kissed her forehead, making her blush, then took her free hand and pulled her over to where the others were now congregating. She followed and sat in an empty chair, sipping her Firewhisky as she watched the boys poring over the parchment, laughing and trying to pronounce the words with some difficulty. Her stomach rumbled slightly, and she pointed her wand at the snack table, summoning a sandwich. She ate it quickly, listening to the new song that was now playing.

Lily leaned over and clinked their drinks together. "Nice idea with the list, Hols," she said, smiling. Her green eyes were shining in the candlelight and her freckled cheeks were slightly flushed from the alcohol. "Very clever. They'll be looking over that for weeks."

"I can't wait to hear them trying to use the words in conversation," Holly replied. She scooted her chair slightly closer to Lily's, and they started chatting about other things; classes, homework (they didn't dwell on that topic for long), Christmas, the next Hogsmeade trip. As always, their conversation was easy, and time flew by, the candles glowing bright orange and gold as the classroom grew darker.

After a while, Holly registered the music again, a different song this time - one she'd never heard before. "Is this _smaghi_...um, Muggle music?" she asked, nodding towards the record player.

"Yup - the records are mine. I had to enchant the player so it worked with all the magic around, but now it changes the songs automatically. Like a jukebox." She didn't notice Holly's blank expression at the strange word, and instead took a careful swig of Butterbeer. "Do you know much Muggle stuff?"

"I've heard a few things, but not a lot. I spent my childhood with private tutors, my adolescence at _L'Accademia_. Not much of a chance to experience the Muggle world, or British music."

Lily nodded in agreement. "I suppose not. Maybe I could lend you a few records, huh? You can have a look through if you want."

"Yeah, alright." Holly wandered over to the record player and started picking through the records in their thin cardboard sleeves, pulling one out of the box every so often so she could see the artwork. She recognised the names of some of the artists, but not as many of the songs themselves.

She was just examining a sleeve with four people on it, two men and two women, squashed up against a snow-covered window under the word _ABBA,_ when a large hand appeared on top of the picture.

"You don't want to listen to that," Sirius said, and Holly whirled around then smacked him on the arm.

"Stop sneaking up on me!" she snapped. "You keep tiptoeing around and making me jump."

He grinned at her, not at all sheepish. "Only because it's funny when you're shocked. Your eyes go all big and round and-" he stopped, then cleared his throat. "Sorry."

Holly narrowed her eyes at him. "As it is your birthday, I will let it go this time." She brandished the _ABBA_ record at him. "And why shouldn't I listen to this?"

"It's rubbish," he said dismissively, already rummaging through the box for an alternative, which he quickly found and held aloft triumphantly. "Behold! The dulcet tones of Phil Lynott."

Holly was about to ask who that was, but she was interrupted by a bouncing bassline and the sound of people snapping their fingers to the beat. Sirius was already off, spinning away past the empty desks, jigging around on the balls of his feet. Watching him, she couldn't help but be slightly impressed - the man had rhythm.

" _When I passed you in the doorway_ ," he sang, looking right at her, " _well you took me with a glance. I should have took that last bus home, but I asked you for a dance_ …" He held out his hand. "Come on Holly, dance with me!"

She laughed. "Why should I?"

He shrugged, then shimmied towards her and away. "Because it's a party. People dance at parties, right?"

"Not like that!" She gestured to his movements, laughing again as he attempted a sort of pirouette and almost fell over. Across the room, the others gave him a round of applause, and he bowed briefly.

"Well, it's my birthday, and I shall make it a rule that anyone can dance however they want!" he cried, receiving another raucous round of applause.

"So what if I want to dance on my own?" Holly asked coyly. She hadn't known she could be coy; that was interesting. She felt strangely confident, certainly confident enough to have a bit of a flirt. Maybe it was the Firewhisky, maybe she was just having a good time - she didn't know for sure, but she liked it. It was nice to just be having some fun, without thinking about where it might lead or how they might all feel about it tomorrow. She crossed her arms and looked at Sirius from under her lashes, challenging him.

Sirius grinned at her and raised his eyebrows. "That, m'dear, makes you the exception that proves the rule." Gracefully, he moved towards her and took her hand, giving her a moment to slip out of his grasp and say no. Instead, she smiled at him, and he led her onto the impromptu dancefloor.

After watching them, James tentatively invited Lily to dance with him, but she turned him down and took Remus's hand instead, leaving James sputtering in disbelief as they joined Holly and Sirius. Not to be outdone, he followed with Peter in tow a few seconds later; their height difference was bordering on ridiculous as they held each other in a tight clinch and strutted around performing a dramatic tango that wasn't at all in time with the music. Lily tried to ignore him while avoiding Remus stepping on her toes, swaying from side to side, but she couldn't stop glancing their way.

Sirius was the same - dancing with Holly, he was trying very hard not to stare at her, but she hadn't made it easy. He'd only ever seen her in her uniform, or that horrible green suit from when they'd first met, so seeing her laughing and dancing in a pretty blue dress and brown boots, curly hair swinging, comfortable and enjoying herself...he couldn't help but smile. She was a good dancer, too; it was the kind of thing you had to learn when you were brought up in a well-off Pureblood family. He threw out his arm and spun her away, bringing her back to face him just as the record changed by itself.

A slow piano introduction played, and Holly froze. Sirius frowned at her questioningly, but she only shook her head. "Are you okay?" he asked in a low voice.

She nodded quickly. "Yes, just...I wasn't expecting us to slow dance."

"We don't have to, if you don't want," he said, flashing her another easy, reassuring grin. Despite his words, though, they had ended up swaying slowly on the spot, simply because they hadn't stopped talking to each other. Neither of them paid any mind when Sirius's right hand slipped further round Holly's waist and he pulled her slightly closer, the two of them dancing as a couple as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

The music swelled, and Holly felt a thrill run down her spine. It was all very well telling herself to treat Sirius as a friend, but she couldn't deny the little jolt of happiness she felt every time he smiled at her, which simultaneously made her feel like a blushing idiot. And now they were dancing together, slowly and intimately, while the woman on the record sang about how nobody does it better. She glanced up at him, feeling her face grow hot, like it always seemed to lately when she met his gaze. There was something different in his eyes, something that had never been there before, or that she'd never noticed before - she didn't know how to describe it, but she didn't want to look away. She was stood close enough to him to smell his aftershave, a heady but strangely delicate scent that she couldn't quite place, combined with the lingering smell of Firewhisky on his breath.

" _The way that you hold me, whenever you hold me, there's some kind of magic inside you…"_ The music flowed around the room, and the world around Holly and Sirius shrank until it contained only them, trying not to stare into each other's eyes and failing miserably.

"This is a nice song," Sirius said quietly.

"I've never heard it before," Holly admitted. She slid her hand up from Sirius's shoulder to hold the back of his neck. "I think that I would prefer 'Life On Mars'," she said, and they shared a secret smile.

Another few seconds of silence passed between them. They had actually stopped dancing now, and were just standing still holding each other close while the song faded into nothing, but they had barely noticed.

"Did I thank you for my present?" Sirius asked, breaking the quiet. His voice was huskier than usual.

"Yes, you did. I'm glad you liked it - I thought maybe you'd think it was...a bit stupid. _Immaturo_." Holly bit her lip and looked away, glancing down at her feet.

"What? No, it's brilliant," he said again. "I mean, we can use it loads of ways, and it's funny, and I had no idea...you're so smart, Holly. Really, really smart." He dropped her hand, but only to lift her chin up with his finger so he could see her face. "Thank you. And thanks for coming to the party."

Holly marvelled for a moment - how strong and strict her convictions had been just a few days before, when she'd been assuring herself that she could be happy just remaining friends with Sirius, not letting her feelings for him come into it. Now, in his arms, she could feel her resolve starting to crumble; half of her wanted to break away from him, the other half wanted to step closer and see if his lips felt as soft as they looked…

Luckily, Sirius made up her mind for her.

She had been kissed before, but it crossed her mind when Sirius closed the gap between them, at last, and captured her mouth with his, that she had never been kissed _properly_. Never so sweetly, like he was trying to say something important without any words. Instinctively she stepped closer and wrapped both arms around his neck, letting her fingers curl into his hair, and he responded with a small groan.

When they broke apart, they were both gasping for breath, and Holly could feel her legs shaking a little.

"Oh," she said breathlessly, at a loss for words. Her lips felt tingly.

"Did I do something wrong?" Sirius asked, stepping back slightly. "I just...in class the other day, your Patronus…"

"What about it?"

"It's...the same as mine," he confessed after a pause. "I mean, once I got over the shock I was kind of happy, you know, that you might feel that way about me, but I didn't want to push anything in case it was just a coincidence, or you didn't actually _know_ how you felt about me, but then I thought, fuck it. It's my birthday. I like you. I wanted to kiss you." After this long speech, the wind seemed to go out of his sails slightly, and he looked a bit embarrassed. "Was it...okay?"

In response, she kissed him again, more slowly this time. He tasted sweet from birthday cake, and hot from the Firewhisky; vanilla and spice mixing together deliciously. Her resolve had entirely vanished now, and she found that she didn't really care - kissing Sirius Black was much nicer than denying she had any romantic feelings for him. She would have quite liked to keep doing it, in fact, but she suddenly remembered that there were actually other people at the party.

Breaking away from Sirius abruptly, she whirled around to apologise to the others...only to find that they had left. She and Sirius were alone.

"Where did everybody go?" she wondered aloud.

"I think they wanted to give us some time alone," Sirius said, pointing to the table that still held remnants of food and some empty bottles. Propped up against a pile of plates was a folded napkin with a cartoon heart drawn on it, pierced by an arrow, with their names entwined inside it. Someone (probably James) had written underneath:

 _Happy birthday, mate. Enjoy getting to know each other (nudge nudge), and don't spill your drink down her dress._

 _Holly - don't let him be an idiot._


	11. Sister, Cursebreaker, Girlfriend

Holly arrived back in the Ravenclaw common room with a sappy smile on her face and a chunk of birthday cake, wrapped in a napkin, in her hand. Sirius had walked her back up to Ravenclaw Tower, and it was with some regret that she'd had to leave him on the dormitory doorstep after he'd kissed her goodbye under the disapproving gaze of the eagle.

She broke off a piece of the cake and chewed it thoughtfully while browsing the bookshelves. The common room was empty, and she felt far too wired to sleep; her head was filled with song, her skin felt tingly, and she could still taste Sirius on her tongue. If she was going to have any chance at sleeping that night, she needed to wind down first; still nibbling cake, she picked out a volume of _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them_ from the shelf, curled up in an armchair by a darkened window, and began to read.

She didn't know how much time had passed, but when the door to the dormitories opened, Holly broke out of her trance and gave a huge yawn. It was Callista coming down the stairs, dressed in deep purple satin pyjamas and an elegant blue robe. The illusion of glamour was shattered somewhat by the huge fluffy slippers she had on her feet. "When did you get back?" she asked grumpily. "I was waiting up for you."

"You didn't have to," Holly protested.

"I know. I wanted to." Callista perched primly on the arm of the chair. "So. How was it?"

"Nice," Holly said, putting the book down and brushing crumbs off her dress. "Very nice."

Callista tutted. "Really? That's all you have to tell me?" She frowned, but then started to smile when she realised Holly was blushing. "I knew it! What happened?"

"We drank, we danced...we kissed." Holly beamed at her.

"Who's we?"

"Me and Sirius, _idiota_. Who else would it be?" She got up and stretched her arms above her head with a groan.

"I don't know," Callista said, shrugging, "you could have secretly had a thing for Peter Pettigrew." She grinned, then suddenly threw her arms around Holly with a squeal and hugged her tight. "So are you his girlfriend now? You are going to be the envy of every girl in Hogwarts. And some of the boys."

"He didn't say," Holly said thoughtfully, fending Callista off so she could stand up straight. "It never really came up, we just talked a lot about other stuff." They began to walk back up the dormitory stairs together.

"Well, you've still gotten further than anyone else has," Callista conceded.

"It's not a race," Holly chided her - but she couldn't help thinking about her friend's words while she changed out of her dress and put her pyjamas on. In her opinion, it was a bit too soon for them to be 'official', as it were, but she also knew that she wouldn't complain if Sirius did want to call her his girlfriend. Maybe she'd ask him the next time she saw him.

Which would be in class the next day. That would be interesting.

* * *

Unfortunately for Holly and her curiosity, both classwork and homework were increasing in severity the closer they got to December, and she barely got a chance to see Sirius outside of the lessons they shared. In the classrooms, they could hardly ever speak directly, much less pass notes under the watchful eyes of their professors - even Flitwick - so she could never bring up the question she most wanted to ask.

Perhaps, though, it wasn't such a big, burning question anymore; every time they did see each other they would smile in a way that neither of them smiled at anyone else. If they did happen to cross paths, Sirius would greet her with a kiss - just a small one, but a kiss on the lips nonetheless - and if he was too far away when he spotted her then he'd blow her a kiss instead. Holly had never been the object of someone's affections in such a way before, and she found she rather liked it.

A week passed quickly in this manner, and Holly could tell the rumours were starting to fly among the sixth- and seventh-years about what exactly was going on between Sirius and herself. She didn't care much for what they said, happy to let the gossip pass her by, but she was brought down to earth with a bump when a note arrived for her on November 11th, reminding her that she was meant to be meeting her sister in the Hogsmeade the next day.

She was in a bad mood for the rest of that Friday, and the next morning too - even Dora's amusing roundabout explanation of an incident in Herbology over breakfast couldn't lift her spirits. She felt aimless, unable to concentrate on any of her work or any books she was working her way through from the Ravenclaw common room. When the time came to leave in the afternoon, she found herself secretly hoping that Filch would come up with some stupid complaint and she'd have to stay in the castle. However, after scrutinising the note of permission Flitwick had given her, he begrudgingly allowed her to leave, and she trudged as slowly as possible down to the village.

They'd arranged to meet at the Three Broomsticks, the only other options being Madame Puddifoot's and The Hog's Head, the latter of which Camellia would never deign to grace with her presence. With a deep breath, Holly pushed the tavern door open, immediately spotting her sister sitting as far away from the bar as possible, wearing a thick, dark green cloak and a disapproving expression. On the table in front of her was an untouched glass of Gillywater.

Before approaching her, Holly first went to the bar and ordered a Firewhisky, taking a swig as soon as she'd paid for it. She needed the courage. Taking another deep breath, she walked over and sat opposite Camellia, who acknowledged her with a quick nod of the head. "Hello, Holly," she said stiffly, addressing her sister in Italian, and setting a precedent for the conversation ahead by doing so. They were going to be talking about things that she would prefer they didn't discuss in front of a load of strangers.

"Hi, Cammy." Holly responded in Italian too, then slowly unwound her scarf from around her neck and settled into her seat. She noticed Camellia glancing at her drink and raising an eyebrow, but mercifully she didn't say anything. Good - Holly wasn't here to discuss her choice of beverage. "How are you?"

"Busy," Camellia said, "but I can't tell you what I've been doing - it's confidential."

"I...didn't ask," Holly mumbled, staring down into the depths of her glass. So they were off to a good start.

"And you? Your letters have been less than frequent." Camellia fixed Holly with a critical stare.

"I've been busy too," she said, thinking of something she could mention; the academic stuff. "I, um, I learned how to cast a Patronus. A corporeal one." Camellia didn't say anything, congratulatory or otherwise, so Holly continued before she could interrupt. "We're working with entirely non-verbal magic, I'm much better at Potions - the Head Girl is helping me - and my grades are consistent."

"Good consistent, or bad consistent?" Camellia asked.

" _Good_ , Cammy," Holly said, aggravated. She wrapped her hands around her glass and held it tight, gripping it so she could focus on something for a second and not lose her cool. Five words from her mouth, and her sister was making her want to smash the glass against the wall and leave. She gritted her teeth.

"I'm glad to hear it," Camellia said breezily, as if she hadn't just dismissed her sister's intelligence and skill in one fell swoop.

They sat opposite each other in silence, nursing their drinks, while around them witches and wizards bundled in their winter clothes made loud conversation. It was like it always was when they were on their own - awkward, silent, strained. Holly hated it, and she kept her focus on the glass still clutched in her hands, wishing it would end.

After a while, Camellia took a sip of Gillywater and cleared her throat. "Now, I said we had a few things to discuss."

Holly nodded, keeping her mouth shut.

Camellia placed her hands on the table, lacing her fingers together, and gazed at Holly until she eventually looked up and made eye contact. "I want to talk about what you're planning to do after Hogwarts."

 _This again_. Holly swallowed hard around the sudden lump in her throat. "You _know_ what I'm planning to do, Cammy. I've told you enough times. I'm going to be a cursebreaker."

"Like father, yes, I know," Camellia said dismissively, "but I do think you should reconsider. You know what that job was like for him."

"Yes, I do. That's part of why I want to do it." Holly took a swig of her drink and noticed that her hands were perfectly still - for once, she wasn't nervous, but absolutely sure of what she was saying.

She was, however, now feeling rather angry.

Camellia sighed, as if Holly were a disobedient puppy, not an adult witch who knew what she wanted to do with her career. "For goodness' sake, Holly, stop being so stubborn. Why do you still want to do something so stupid?"

"Because I'd be _good at it_ , Cammy, and I don't want to waste my education!" Holly cried. Her voice rose in pitch, attracting the attention of the wizard sat at the next table along, but she glared at him fiercely until he looked away. "You know what the wizarding world is like right now; I could be dead tomorrow. So could you. Why shouldn't I spend my remaining time doing things I want to do? Why are you always trying to hold me back?"

"I'm not trying to hold you back, Holly; I just want you to be sensible and think about this." Here was Camellia's attempt at a reasonable tone, but Holly was having none of it. She leaned forward slightly and jabbed her finger at her sister.

"Really? I've been thinking about this for _two years_ , Cammy," she growled in indignation. "I know the risks, I know what exams I need to take, I have done more thorough research for this than I do for some of my essays. You're acting like I just picked a career choice out of a hat and went with it; why can't you just accept that I know what I'm doing?"

"Because you're-"

"Your little sister, three years younger than you, so I can't possibly know what I'm talking about? Find another excuse. I've...I've had it with this." Abruptly, she stood up, drained her glass, and pushed back her chair. "I have spent so much of my life trying to make you happy. This is the one thing I want to do for myself, and you've always been against it. The funny thing is, if you had just told me you were worried about me, and you want to see me safe, because we're sisters and you love me, I might have reconsidered it." Her laugh was empty.

Camellia's eyes widened; finally, she was paying proper attention. "But I do, Holly! Of course I care about you - "

"No. If that were the real reason, if you actually felt that way, I feel like it would have been one of the first things you said against the idea. We've had this same argument over and over again, and all you've done each time is put me down, not show me that you really care for my wellbeing. I don't know, maybe that's your way of trying to discourage me, to make me feel like I'm not capable so I'll give up on the idea, but if that's the case then that is the worst, most underhanded, sneakiest thing you have ever done to me. There is no love there." Holly wrapped her scarf back round her neck and buttoned up her coat.

Suddenly Camellia was on her feet, placing an authoritative hand on Holly's arm. "Holly, stop! Don't walk out on me. We can sit down and go through this together; we need to talk about it properly."

"No, we don't. We are _done_ talking about this. I know I can do it, and I'm going to, even if you disapprove. Even if you don't believe I can. Sorry, Cammy; you may be the older sister, but when it comes to _my_ career _, my_ life, I know better than you." Turning on her heel, Holly walked away as quickly as she dared, pushing past two witches who were entering the pub then emerging out into the frosty air.

She felt...she didn't know how she felt. Elated? Confident? Unburdened? She kept walking down the street, wondering if Camellia would follow her, but by the time she reached the start of the path back up to Hogwarts she realised that wasn't happening. Her shoulders relaxed inside her coat.

She had never, ever spoken to her sister like that before. Camellia had always been a figure of authority - the older one, the one with a job, the one who'd learned magic before she had. Holly had spent so much of her adolescent life believing that she would never be as good as her sister, and it wasn't until the last couple of years that she had started to realise that maybe she would do better not living in her sister's shadow. New friends, and a new school where she wasn't constantly being judged against Camellia's abilities, had helped, but it had still been a slow process - her outburst after watching James and Sirius practising Quidditch was proof enough of that. Now, though, it was like something had flipped a switch inside her, and she knew; she was good enough. She was capable. She could do what she wanted to do with her life.

Perhaps it was seeing Camellia again that had done it. When her only contact was through owl post, it was easy for Holly to take the words of her letters differently, putting her own spin on them and convincing herself that there was truth in what was written. Actually _hearing_ her sister say those things? That had pissed her off.

Then again...she paused on the path, thinking, as a series of familiar voices popped into her head.

" _I had no idea...you're so smart, Holly. Really, really smart…"_

" _It's no wonder you were put in Ravenclaw."_

" _If anyone was going to do it, it would be you."_

" _I should have more Ravenclaw friends."_

She smiled to herself; that was it. She had people who believed in her now, who understood and appreciated her intelligence. Slowly, hearing her new friends say these things over the last couple of months had boosted her confidence, enough that she was able to hit back and shut down Camellia when she'd started trying to belittle her like she normally did. Holly made a mental note to hug each of them the next time she saw them.

She felt giddy. This was not how she'd expected the afternoon to go at all, and now she was at a bit of a loss of what to do. There were hours until dinner, and the sun was starting to go down, casting long shadows across the frosty landscape. She drew her wand and muttered _Lumos_ , using the small light to guide her back up the darkening path to the castle.

* * *

Holly couldn't sleep that night. After an emotional day, she'd made an attempt at getting an early night, but as soon as her head had hit the pillow she'd been wide awake. She tossed and turned in her little blue bed, feeling restless, but not in an annoying or unpleasant way - just as if she couldn't switch off. Eventually, she gave up and got out of bed, keeping quiet as she slowly pulled on her shoes and a warm cloak. A walk around the castle would help her unwind, and hopefully tire her out at the same time.

It was still before midnight, so she wouldn't get in trouble if anyone spotted her up and about at that hour, but she was still careful walking through the corridors. She loved the castle at night, when the lamps were dimmed, the portraits were sleeping, and the halls were practically empty (except for cats that didn't want to spend the night with their owners. Holly tried to avoid those). With her wand lit, she descended a staircase and turned down the empty corridor, her footsteps echoing.

Humming softly, she paused to look at a tapestry that hung on the wall, and it was then that she noticed another set of footsteps coming towards her, just around the corner. Unsure what to do, she stood still and waited as the footsteps grew louder. Eventually, they got really close, then stopped.

Holly frowned. Whoever the footsteps belonged must have turned the corner by now; she should be able to see them. Curious, she walked forwards, her skin prickling with the feeling that she was being watched. Nothing happened, so she kept going, expecting to turn the corner and see someone there. She must have misjudged the distance.

Out of nowhere, a hand appeared in mid-air in front of her, grabbing her cloak. She screamed and aimed her wand, then stopped when she realised someone was laughing. She knew that laugh…

"Sirius!" She stared in shock as he appeared out of nowhere, laughing and holding something silvery in his hand. Once she got over the initial surprise, she smacked him in the chest angrily. "What have I told you about sneaking up on me? That was horrible!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I just couldn't resist," he laughed, leaning back against the wall.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Holly hissed. "Is this what you do at night, just walk around the castle scaring people who are up late?" She backed away when he tried to hug her.

"Holly, come on, I'm sorry," he said, keeping his arms wide. When she didn't respond, he shoved his hands in his pockets instead. "I didn't come out for a walk to scare people, I was...I was just looking for you, actually." He blushed.

Holly raised her eyebrows. "You were?"

"Yeah, I mean, I remembered that you were seeing your sister today and I didn't get to see you at dinner, so I was going to sneak up to Ravenclaw Tower and see if my girlfriend was okay," he explained, sounding sheepish.

"Did you consider that perhaps I might be asleep? Or that you might not be able to get in?" Holly crossed her arms, the tiniest of smiles on her face. It was very difficult to stay mad at him, especially when he was embarrassed.

Sirius shrugged. "It was supposed to be a big romantic gesture; I didn't think it through completely." He walked towards her, and she let him, so he took his chance and pulled her into a hug before she could complain. " _Are_ you okay? What are you doing up?"

"Couldn't sleep," Holly admitted, leaning her head against his shoulder. "Today...did not go well, but it also was very satisfying."

"Oh yeah?" Sirius began stroking her hair absently.

"We had a huge argument in the middle of the Three Broomsticks," she explained. "Camellia does not want me to become a cursebreaker. She never has - this is nothing new. But I didn't let her put me down today - I stood up and I told her I was doing it anyway, because I am smart and capable, and I know what I'm doing."

"Good for you!" said Sirius, squeezing her tight. "Of course you can do it. You're brilliant."

Holly smiled - and then something registered, something he'd said before. "You called me your girlfriend," she whispered, grinning up at him.

"Did I?" He thought for a second. "So I did. Is that...alright with you?"

"You know what? It really is," she said, standing on tiptoe so she could kiss him on the cheek.

"Come on, let's get out of here." He took her hand and led her down the empty corridor.


	12. Darkness and Discoveries

Holly didn't take Astronomy anymore, so she'd never actually been up in that tower, but Sirius knew where he was going - whether from classes or other nighttime exploits, possibly both, she didn't know. Holding her hand, he pulled her gently up the winding staircase until they emerged at the top of the tower, their faces immediately hit with a freezing wind.

"Aaah!" she cried, retreating back inside and shielding herself from the wind with her cloak as her blonde curls flew around her head. "Why did you bring me up here? It's so cold!" She tried to turn away and go back inside the tower, but Sirius caught her shoulder.

"It's not that bad, Hols. We can always huddle for warmth," Sirius said, wrapping his arms around her and holding her close. She always liked it when he hugged her like this, so his arms almost went all the way around her. It made her feel safe.

Holly tipped her head back and looked up at his smug expression. "You are insufferable," she said, but she didn't mean it. Slowly they left the shelter of the tower and sat down on the floor, leaving the door slightly ajar. Lower down, the battlements shielded them from the worst of the wind, and they sat together comfortably. After a few minutes Holly shifted inside her cloak, turning on her side and lighting her wand so she could look at Sirius, even if he was still half in shadow. "So," she began, "are you going to tell me why you have an Invisibility Cloak at your disposal?"

He stared at her, hesitating for a second before letting out a long breath. "It's not actually mine, it's James's. He inherited it."

"Can I see it?" She put out her free hand and Sirius gave her the bundle of slippery cloth. She passed it between her fingers, marvelling at the texture. "It's beautiful…" She bundled the cloak around her hand, watching it vanish before her eyes.

"Yeah, I suppose it is. James has had it for years, I don't know how long it's been in his family. Don't tell anyone we've got it, will you? I mean, we don't do any harm, we mainly use it for stealing stuff from the kitchens."

"And sneaking up on defenceless women in the corridors?" Holly asked, looking at him with one raised eyebrow and a smirk on her face.

He laughed. "Yeah, okay, you got me there - but you are hardly defenceless." He took the cloak off her and tucked it out of sight, then pulled her close again. His body was warm, and she relaxed against him easily, extinguishing the light of her wand as they looked up at the sky, which was clear of clouds, illuminated by stars but no moon. Sirius lifted his hand and pointed upwards, outlining a constellation with his fingertip. When he spoke, his voice was deeper and more professorial, as if he were lecturing a class. "There we have Orion the hunter, my middle namesake, although he doesn't look anything like a man, in my opinion. And if you go down here -" His fingers moved south west, circling a different, smaller constellation "-you'll find Canis Major, home of my other namesake, Sirius, the Dog Star. The brightest star in the sky."

"So...you are a dog and a hunter?" Holly said, smiling.

"What's wrong with that?" Sirius switched back to his own voice, affronted.

"I didn't say there was anything wrong with it. It could be worse; I'm not named after a star, just a plant. My sister got the pretty spring flower, and I am stuck with something green and prickly."

"Green and prickly means you're tough," Sirius reassured her, twirling one of her curls between his fingers. "Green and prickly doesn't take shit from her soft and delicate sister who doesn't know anything about surviving the winter."

"You're stretching the metaphor a bit thin," Holly commented.

"My _point_ ," Sirius said emphatically, "is that I can't believe your bitch of a sister doesn't believe in you. She doesn't know half of what you've done since you came here, how good you are, not really. You're strong, you're smart, you're…" He was cut off when Holly suddenly pressed her finger to his lips. Cross-eyed, he stared down at it. "You know this doesn't stop me from talking, right?"

"No, but you're wasting your breath," Holly said, taking her hand away. She let her finger trail along his jaw, though; she liked the feel of the stubble there. "That's the way it's always been; I've been compared to my sister for almost my whole life, usually weighed and found wanting. Honestly, I don't think Camellia will ever be happy with me, no matter what I do. I could take a desk job at the Ministry with her, I could move back to Italy, I could be a _casalinga_ , stay at home and have lots of little Pureblood babies…"

"You could marry me," Sirius chimed in.

"I could - what?" She stared at him in surprise.

"You could marry me. I'm a Pureblood wizard, the world's going to shit, and we're not getting any younger. What more could you want?"

"Are you ridiculously wealthy?"

"Funny you should ask," he said, shifting position slightly until he was more comfortable. My uncle Alphard died the other day."

Holly's hand flew to her mouth. "Oh! I'm sorry…"

"Thanks, but it's okay." He shrugged, as if he was used to it. Maybe he really was, maybe he was just trying to be nonchalant. "My point is, I was sort-of his favourite, and he left me pretty much everything he had. If you and I got married, we could live in a mansion or a flat above a Muggle shop eating fish and chips every day, whatever you fancy. We'd have freedom."

Slowly, Holly sat up straight, fixing him with an incredulous look. "Are you...are you being serious? You've only just started calling me your girlfriend."

Again, he shrugged - she was beginning to wonder if he could respond in any other way. "I dunno, maybe. I mean, even if we didn't get married, I know that I'd like to have you in my life in some way. I really like you."

"I really like you too." She smiled. "Would you really be okay with me not being around much? Travelling for work?"

"I could come with you, couldn't I?"

"No, you couldn't. You'd miss James and the others too much."

"They could visit us, I'm sure they'd like it." He grinned widely.

"And what if anyone else comes looking for us? What if Cammy wants to visit?"

"We'll change our names, change our faces. No problem."

"You seem to have all this planned out very thoroughly," Holly laughed. "In all seriousness, though, I couldn't cut you off from your friends. They're like your brothers - I wouldn't ask any of you to spend time apart for my sake."

"Maybe I would if I found the right girl…" Sirius's words trailed off. Holly realised slightly too late that he was leaning closer, and then he kissed her, suddenly reminding her how much she'd missed kissing him properly, not just a peck on the lips as they passed each other in the hallway. There was something about it that meant she thought about nothing else, like her brain just switched off all other thoughts and focused only on him. It was lovely.

They both jumped when an animal cried out in the darkness, somewhere towards the Forbidden Forest, and they broke apart. Holly heard rather than saw Sirius move, and then felt him murmuring next to her ear, his warm breath tickling her skin.

"Hey," he said quietly. "What are you doing for Christmas?"

"I...I hadn't thought about it," she said softly, grasping his hand when she felt it groping for hers in the dark. "Why do you ask?"

"Stay here. Stay at Hogwarts, with me." The way he said it made it sound like it was the only idea that made sense, and she found herself agreeing.

* * *

November flowed into December before Holly realised it was happening, and suddenly she had been dating Sirius for almost a month. By now she was used to the envious glares she still received sometimes, and she had also come to terms with the idea of what it was like to date Sirius Black.

He was possessive, for one thing. Usually not in an overbearing way - if he ever became overbearing she was quick to tell him off - but more protective, like the alpha in a pack of dogs. He walked to and from their classes with her, invited her to the Gryffindor table at dinner (which quickly lost its unusual quality and simply became something she did, as there was no specific rule against it really), and even met her outside the Ravenclaw Tower entrance on those rare occasions when he was awake before her in the morning.

Whenever they stood or sat next to each other, he kept contact, holding her hand or placing his arm around her, sometimes briefly resting his head on her shoulder. Once, Travers made some snide comment about this at the beginning of one of Professor Astrid's lessons, which Sirius heard the tail end of; the end result had been a bleeding Travers, an enraged Sirius, and detention for both of them. Holly had been furious with him for about ten minutes, then she'd forgiven him and waited for him to finish detention later that night. Her reward for him 'defending her honour', as Sirius had put it, was a big kiss and a piece of apple pie she'd smuggled from the dinner table.

Things were going well in the run-up to the Christmas holidays - aside from the massive amounts of homework - until the morning of December 5th.

The owl post arrived as usual, dropping copies of the Daily Prophet along the house tables, and as people began to register the headlines in front of them the conversation across the hall gradually ceased. Silence fell, and all eyes looked to the front page.

 _ **472 killed in attack on Muggle hospital**_

There was a burst of rustling as people frantically reached to grab the Prophet and see what the hell had happened, clusters of students sharing newspapers, reading as fast as they could, whispering urgently. On the Gryffindor table, where Holly had joined them for breakfast, James, Remus, Sirius, Peter, and Lily were all ashen-faced. Slowly, Remus picked up the paper and began to read aloud.

"Last night, Northshore Hospital in Oxfordshire was the victim of a ferocious and brutal attack, believed to have been carried out by followers of You-Know-Who." He scanned the article quickly then skipped ahead to find out the details. "The hospital was set alight with fire that Muggle means were unable to extinguish, destroying most of the West Wing and Central sections of the building, which included the-" he stopped, almost choking on his next words as if they were poison. "The...maternity ward."

Around him, they all gasped. Lily looked close to tears, and James put his arm around her shoulders. Holly sat frozen on the bench, her hands clasping the edge of the table tightly.

Remus swallowed hard before continuing, looking weary. He was still recovering from being ill again the week before, and this wasn't helping his recovery. His face was pale, and his hands holding the paper were shaking slightly. "Less than twenty Muggles made it out alive, and survivors that have been questioned are now being Obliviated by Ministry officials." He folded the paper up and threw it away across the table, putting his head in his hands.

Silence reigned over them all, none of them sure what to say. Lily suddenly sobbed, her face a mask of shock.

"That could have been my family," she gasped. "They could have…" Abruptly, she stood up and almost ran from the room, taking very deliberate strides that weren't really fooling anyone. James immediately scrambled to his feet and followed her, leaving the rest of them to stew in the implications of what they'd read and heard. Holly pushed her plate of toast away, feeling sick. Wordlessly, Sirius took her hand, and they spent the rest of breakfast sat in silence.

The class was subdued in Defence Against The Dark Arts that morning, and Professor Astrid looked as though she might have been crying, though she was entirely composed and serious as she addressed the class before the lesson began. Holly hadn't known, but Callista filled her in with an urgent whisper as they sat down: Professor Astrid was Muggle-born.

"You will have all heard the news this morning of the poor souls attacked in Northshore Hospital," she said slowly. "Things are apparently worse than anyone has wanted to believe. Like many before me in this position, I had hoped that you would not have urgent need of the skills I have taught, and will teach, during our classes together. It seems that will not be the case. This is about more than your N.E.W.T.s now; this is about survival, and while I will teach everything I can to anyone who is willing to learn from me, I will not tolerate anybody in my class that sympathises with these horrible events. If you cannot see how wrong they are, and how much they are destroying the fabric of the wizarding world, how those committing such acts of violence and destruction are no longer witches and wizards but heartless _demons,_ then you have no place in this room." Her keen eyes scanned the room, meeting the gazes of every single student. When she reached the back row, she paused, and her eyes narrowed slightly. The challenge was evident: she was daring someone to leave, to reveal themselves. It was clear who she was focusing on, but there was no sound of a chair being pushed back, no footsteps, nothing. Nobody moved. Unable and unwilling to openly accuse one of her students, Astrid took a deep breath, raised her wand, and pointed at the blackboard to begin the lesson properly.

Tuesday was worse.

More bad news arrived on the wings of owls that day; a string of werewolf attacks had taken place, dotted around Great Britain, all the victims unrelated, all the locations seemingly at random. A week or so after the full moon, Muggles and wizards alike had reported not seeing their neighbours for days, and the reasons had quickly been discovered.

It was all anyone could talk about - unlike the attack on the hospital, which awful as it was had also been somewhat difficult to imagine, every Hogwarts student above the age of thirteen knew what a werewolf was capable of, and speculation was running high.

That evening, after a day of nobody really speaking to each other and teachers being uncharacteristically lenient, Holly was sat at her favourite desk in the common room attempting to work her way through a complicated arithmantical chart. Unsurprisingly, she was finding it hard to concentrate. The whole room was abuzz with Ravenclaws muttering to each other about recent events; it was as if the veil that somewhat shielded Hogwarts from all the horrible occurrences of the outside world had suddenly been lifted, revealing that things were much worse than they had previously appeared. The safety of the castle had made them complacent, and the war had seemed too far away to really have an impact, like a natural disaster on the other side of the world. Yes, it was awful, but it wasn't happening to them. It was a stupid attitude to have taken, and a lot of the students, particularly the youngest ones, were very close to panicking. Many who had been planning to go home for Christmas were now having second thoughts, while those who had intended to stay now wanted to be with their families...just in case.

Holly was worried too, of course; Camellia worked at the Ministry, and everybody knew that You-Know-Who had its downfall in his sights. She wondered if she should try and patch things up with her sister, at least as much as she could - she still wasn't going to give up on her desire to become a cursebreaker. She resolved to send an owl as soon as she was able, perhaps with the Christmas present she'd bought in Scrivenshaft's as a peace offering.

From the nearest sofa behind her, she could hear a group of third-years chattering loudly about the werewolf attacks. While she hadn't had a chance to properly read the story in the _Prophet_ , she knew most of the details from gossip during the day, and it had made her morbidly curious; the full moon had occurred just over a week ago, and she had wondered why it had taken…

With a clatter, Holly's pencil fell from her hand onto the desk and rolled onto the floor. She sat frozen for a few seconds before quickly getting to her feet and making her way over to the globe on the other side of the room. Her mind was whirring as she manoeuvred the moon attachment around the globe and calculated dates.

He'd been quiet and moody all day; she'd thought it was just because of all the bad news, like everyone else, but what if there was another reason? He'd been ill the week before, and again back in October, around the same time. She supposed it must have happened in September too, and she'd simply been too overwhelmed and distracted by everything new to notice…

She really needed to talk to Remus.


	13. Lupo Mannaro

**Disclaimer: the wonderful wizarding world of Harry Potter does not belong to me.**

* * *

She finally caught up with him at the end of classes the next day, when he was lingering outside the classroom with the others. Sirius beamed at her when she approached, immediately putting his arm around her. She planted a quick kiss on his lips. "Sorry, _caro_ , but I need to borrow Remus for a minute. I'll see you at dinner?"

Sirius frowned, looking from her to a bemused Remus and back again. "Erm, yeah. 'Course." He kissed her again.

"Thanks." Slipping out of his grasp, Holly instead took hold of Remus's arm and led him away down the corridor. "See you later!" she called out over her shoulder.

They found an empty classroom and Holly pushed Remus inside, closing the door behind her quickly. When she turned around, she saw that Remus had made himself comfortable sitting on top of one of the desks, long legs stretched out before him, and though he still looked tired he was smiling at her in his calmly quizzical way. "What's this about?" he asked.

Holly approached the desk beside him and swung herself up onto it, taking a deep breath before she spoke. She had no idea how to broach the subject, but she had to try something. "I'm not an idiot," she began, then winced.

Remus's smile widened. "I never thought you were."

"I mean...it's like my father used to say. He could not keep secrets from me, because I always figured them out eventually. I always knew when he had brought me something home from one of his trips before he told me himself." Holly nervously started to play with her hair, plaiting some strands together as she pondered her next words. She looked up at Remus's patient face. "You were ill last week, and around the same time in October. Maybe September, too - granted I was busy back then so I didn't really pay attention. It's always the same time, and then yesterday everyone was talking about the attacks, and you weren't acting like yourself, and I checked the phases of the moon, and…" She trailed off, nibbling her bottom lip.

There was a moment of tense silence, then Remus gave an exhausted sigh, chuckling wryly under his breath. "I should have realised you'd work it out without me telling you," he said resignedly. His shoulders sagged inside his grey cardigan, and he turned his face away like he didn't want her looking at him.

Holly immediately got up and threw her arms around him, pulling him close, offering some comfort. His long arms embraced her in return after a few seconds of stillness. "How long?" she murmured.

"Since I was a young boy."

"Do the others know?"

"The boys have known since second year. Lily knows, too, and the teachers, obviously."

That answered Holly's next question. She kissed Remus's scarred face on both cheeks. When she pulled back, her lips were slightly wet, and she noticed that he was crying a little. "I won't tell anyone, I promise. I _swear it_."

He looked at her apprehensively, taking hold of her hand that still rested on his shoulder. "And you...you don't think I'm a monster?" His voice shook slightly, barely noticeable but definitely there, like he was afraid she'd turn away from him.

Holly shook her head vehemently. "Of course not! One, it's not your fault; two, you're still _you_ , most of the time. Being a...werewolf doesn't change the fact that you're still Remus Lupin. You always have chocolate, you don't fly but you like to watch Quidditch, you're smart and kind and _far_ too tall for hugging unless you're sat down. That is who you are. This doesn't make you a monster." She paused for a moment, then blushed. "Although...do you mind if I ask you about it sometimes? I'll try not to intrude, but it's very interesting."

Fortunately, her request made Remus smile. "I suppose that's okay." Unbidden, he suddenly pulled her back into a hug, which was much more affection than he usually showed her. She could still feel him trembling; this was obviously incredibly difficult for him, and she had no idea how to relate, but she could offer him friendship at least. "Thank you," he mumbled from somewhere in her hair.

"You're welcome, _tesoro_." Holly was smiling too, but then she paused, calculating in her head. "Wait...the next full moon is…"

Remus nodded ruefully. "Christmas Day, yeah."

"Well then," Holly replied, "there is no way I am going home for the holidays now."

* * *

Curled up in an armchair in the Ravenclaw common room after dinner, Holly had abandoned _The Standard Book of Spells: Grade 7_ and was staring into space instead. She couldn't stop thinking about Remus. He was a _werewolf_ \- how had she missed that? She knew all the signs, she'd read about them; had she really been so caught up in her own head that she hadn't noticed one of her closest friends was sick around the full moon three months in a row?

Not to mention, in just over a fortnight he would be undergoing the transformation on Christmas Day. His last Christmas at Hogwarts spent in agony and isolation, clawing at his own skin, unable to be with his friends - it would be dark so early in the day, after all, and while she had no idea what measures were in place for him, she doubted he would be allowed to just stay in the Gryffindor common room all night. She sighed, staring off into space and wishing there was something she could do for him. Sadly there wasn't really, besides being there for him when he perhaps needed someone to talk to other than James, Sirius, or Peter. She wondered briefly if there were any books in the library that might come in handy, or spells she could learn, but reasoned that if that were the case Remus would have found them by now.

She shifted in her chair, perplexed, and gazed out of the window at the dark, cloudless sky. Chewing her lip, she hugged her knees close to her chest. It had been a strange few days; two horrible events out there in the wider wizarding world, and a strange revelation about Remus. She felt slightly put out that not one of those in-the-know had thought to let her in on the secret, but supposed it was ultimately Remus's choice, and the boys were nothing if not fiercely loyal to each other.

Someone's cat wandered over to her, chirruping curiously. Holly looked down her nose at it with a frown on her face. It was a huge thing with fluffy brown fur and piercing eyes, and Holly's frown deepened when it sat back on its haunches and looked like it wanted to jump up at her.

" _Don't_ ," she said sharply, pointing her finger at it. She wasn't fond of cats, and now wasn't the time for one of them to try and make friends with her. The cat sniffed her finger, then gave her an offended look and padded away across the common room. Rolling her eyes, Holly sat back in her chair. Somehow, the cat's stern gaze had reminded her of someone - Camellia, who she still hadn't written to following their falling-out in the Three Broomsticks the previous month. She knew she'd been deliberately putting it off, but recent events had made her wonder about the possibility of losing her sister. As much as they argued, as much as Camellia had belittled her in the past, she was still the only family Holly had left, and if the _Daily Prophet's_ headlines were anything to go by then now was not the time for them to be estranged. Reluctantly she unfolded herself from the chair and headed up to the dormitory, where all her quills, ink, and parchment were piled up in the trunk at the end of her bed.

Sitting cross-legged on her four-poster with a blank piece of parchment on top of one of her spellbooks in front of her, Holly dipped her quill in some black ink and sucked the end of it as she thought about how to begin.

 _Dear Cammy,_ she wrote, then scribbled out the 'Dear' and wrote 'Cara' instead. She would write in Italian, the language they always used for more private matters.

 _I've seen the news over the last few days, and I hope you're safe and well. I wanted to say that I'm sorry for how we parted last month - you were right, I shouldn't have left things like that. It was childish of me. That being said, my mind is still made up. I'm becoming a cursebreaker, and I would appreciate it if you didn't try and stop me anymore._

 _I hope we can still keep in touch. I worry about you, how busy you are, and how dangerous it's getting out there. We have lost our mother and father, we should not lose each other before our time as well without a chance to make things better._

She paused again. Should she tell Camellia about her relationship with Sirius? She honestly wasn't sure what her sister's reaction would be; from what she had gleaned from Sirius's dark mutterings and what James has told her in response to her curious questions, the Black family were notorious in the British wizarding world for their borderline obsessive Pureblood sensibilities, respected by some and loathed by many more. As the two of them had grown up in another country, she didn't know how much Camellia knew about the Blacks. Nor did she particularly want to provide yet another reason for her sister to be disappointed in her life choices, especially as she'd just offered her an olive branch. Better to leave it for now.

She signed the parchment with her love, folded it up and dripped wax onto the edges, pressing her little wooden wolf stamp down to seal the letter. Cosmo wasn't perched in his favourite spot on the windowsill next to her bed - she hadn't sent him off anywhere, so if he wasn't out hunting her best chance of finding him was the Owlery. A glance at the clock showed her that although it was dark outside, it was still fairly early and there were a couple of hours until curfew. She rummaged under her bed and came up with a pair of knee-high boots clutched in her hand, which she pulled on quickly before wrapping herself up in her warm cloak and leaving the room.

She passed several people she knew on the way down to the Entrance Hall, including Pandora who smiled at her while twisting her hair into a bun and sticking her wand through it as she walked up the stairs. She had hoped she might bump into Sirius, but no luck.

Opening the front doors of the castle exposed her to a bitterly cold wind, and she hugged herself tightly with one arm as she walked across the grass towards the Owlery tower, lit wand held in her other hand Cosmo was indeed perched up by the roof, devouring a fieldmouse he'd caught, but soared down to greet her eagerly. His beak was red, and spots of blood were flecked across the parchment as he took the letter from Holly's outstretched hand and flew off into the night.

Humming to herself, Holly set off back to the warmth of the castle. She felt as if a great weight had been lifted off her shoulders, that she hadn't realised was there until it had gone. Even if Camellia didn't respond or spent the rest of their lives silently resenting her, she had at least tried. She would keep trying, if needs be.

When she had entered the castle again and pulled the doors closed behind her, she stood still for moment, rubbing her hands together and stamping her feet to get warm.

"All alone again, Hartwell?"

Holly gave a start and span around. Travers was coming towards her, flanked by two other Slytherins she didn't remember the names of. One of them had a hooked nose and black hair that was either very glossy or very greasy; in the candlelight she couldn't really tell. Scowling at Travers, she tightened her grip on her wand.

"Heard you're with the blood traitor now," he said, grinning his shark grin. He stopped about three feet away from her, his thumbs hooked into his trouser pockets, then licked his lips so quickly she almost didn't notice. "Pity." He raised his hand as if to stroke her face.

" _Excuse me_?" Holly snapped through clenched teeth, backing away from him. She drew herself up to her full height and raised her wand.

To her annoyance, Travers laughed. "Now, now," he said. "You ought to control that temper of yours - it's very unbecoming."

"So is having a black eye, which _will_ happen if you try and touch me again." Holly's hackles were up; she was heartily sick of Travers and his arrogant, overbearing, downright cruel manner. She knew that not all Slytherins were like him, which was fortunate, but he made it very difficult to remember that. "Leave me alone."

Travers simply smiled at her, but Holly didn't back down. She wasn't about to turn her back on him in order to climb the staircase and get away. She would hold her ground and wait until they left.

The Slytherin boy on Travers' left side, the one with the shiny hair, leant forward and whispered something in his ear. In response, Travers grinned.

"Stop it," Holly hissed, her wand still raised. "What is your problem with me, Travers? Why can't you just turn around and leave me the...the _fuck_ alone?"

Eyebrows raised, Travers kept smiling at her. He took a step closer again, their significant height difference making Holly feel very small. Still, she squared her shoulders and stared unflinchingly back at him. "You're a Pureblood, Hartwell," he began softly. "Ravenclaw, yes, but you've got a good mind. You would do well."

Holly's blue eyes flashed angrily. She knew exactly what he was implying, and with a movement quick as lightning she waved her wand and cried, " _Affligo_!"

There was a bang and a flash of red light; Travers was thrown backwards across the floor, his comrades leaping out of the way. Holly had hit him with the first spell that had popped into her head - a Striking Jinx, simple but very effective. She watched furiously as he lay on the floor doubled over in pain, gasping for breath; then he raised his head and glared at her.

"You've seen the news, Hartwell," he sneered, still wheezing. "The world is changing. War is coming - and look at you. Hanging around with blood traitors and that filthy Mudblood of a Head Girl. If I were you, I'd make sure you're on the right side, or who knows what could happen."

"Get away from me," Holly bit out, raising her wand again. It was three against one, and they were all bigger than her, but none of them had their wands out yet. She was fast. "Right now. I'm warning you."

Muttering something venomous, Travers got slowly to his feet, and the three boys finally walked away and left her alone. Holly's knees were shaking and she quickly walked over to sink down on the marble staircase, breathing hard. She could feel her hands trembling, and it was with a start that she realised tears were streaming down her cheeks. Her whole body felt hot with rage.

What the hell was Travers up to, prowling round the school like that? _Recruiting_? Trying to get her to join in with whatever horrible plans they had for the destruction of wizarding society in You-Know-Who's name? It was sick. And to think they'd come after _her_ …

She drew a shaky breath and wiped her eyes fiercely, finally letting go of her wand to let it drop into her lap. She rested her head against the bannister, and that was how Dumbledore found her a few minutes later.


End file.
